Mindf u c k

“I fell for it.”
“Once again it happened to me. I fell for the scam, the gimmick. I told myself I would never trust another in this life or beyond ever again. Apparently I didn't listen to myself and instead like a tweaker; I would do anything to feel that rush again. It was my fault, it has always been my fault. I accept my demons and play spades with them. I've turned into a card counter, where I already know what is coming up next. Right?

I have fallen for it... how could I be so dumb? So... blind? Was there something more that I was missing? Something behind the scenes; or in fact, was it just but a dream within a dream.”

Heavy lids struggle to lift. Lashes long and glued from supposed waterproof mascara and combined tears from when she had fallen asleep. There, she lay in fetal position on a mattress upon the floor of her bedroom. Blankets were kicked off onto a already messy floor. Covered in clothes, shoes, trash, random things, and drug paraphernalia.

Finally, she found herself staring at one little region of the carpet that was clean of debris and only consisted of a light-beam that was peeking in from a hole in the blinds of the window. Curled up, her left thumb rested snug against her lower chapped-lip. She seemed to be lost in some sort of trance as her gaze held steadily hooked to the area of light. She needed it, to step out of the darkness. Though, she kept still, frozen; and watched it from a distance as a tear fell from the outer corner of her eye. That was what she had always done. Watched from afar. Afraid... a coward to admit to herself that she wasn't as strong as she seemed. That even thee all and powerful V... could be caught slipping.