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02/02/2021 03:31 PM
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journal entry | writing piece.
Journal Entry: 001
I found myself going through our old photographs, desperately trying to remember every dip, curve, and wrinkle that graced your skin. I feel like it's been so long since I've seen them, since I've seen you. I stumbled upon this one of you and Lilah; she was maybe six months old when I took it. We were at the park, enjoying the unusually cold day, a nice change from the sweltering heat that Malvada and Limbo usually offered us.
That day, you asked me to marry you again.
It took me by surprise, because for a while, I didn't think you were happy in our marriage. I had gained pregnancy weight, didn't always look the best, got moody over everything ( we can blame that on the post-partum depression, though ), and I was just... not nice to you. And you weren't nice to me. Which, I deserved. But you always told me I was beautiful, and cherished my body like it was your temple. You forgave me for picking fights over who took out the garbage last, or who's turn it was to do the dishes.
Our marriage wasn't perfect, but it was real. And as I sat with the biggest smile on my face, I said yes, a thousand times over.
We never got to have that wedding that we planned. You died six months prior to the big day. My heart aches when I think about it. I didn't need a big, fairytale wedding for you to know how much I loved you, but I wish we got the chance to celebrate our love with the people that mattered most to us. With Lilah and Talulah standing next to us. I'll always cherish our shotgun wedding at the courthouse, but damn, I wish I could've seen you that day.
I cherish photos like this one, and the memories tied to them, because for a minute, my mind allows me to believe you're still here.
How I wish that were true.
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02/01/2021 02:19 PM
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untitled.
“Say my name,” your voice raspy, Irish accent thick on your tongue. Rough hands snake across my skin as you take from me what most men couldn’t, what most men only dreamed of. “Tell me who you belong to.”
I’d shout it from the goddamn rooftops if given the chance, your name echoing off of the four walls that hid us away from the harsh reality of the outside world.
Here, I belong to you.
Here, I am home.
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02/01/2021 02:17 PM
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fam and stuff | cs
FAMILY TREE x LIFE
PARENTS: Lennon's parents are both dead. Prior to their passing, she had estranged relationships with both her mother and father, and therefore, have no photos with either of them.
GRANDPARENTS: The only living grandparent Lennon has is her grandfather on her mother's side. They don't see each other often, but when they do, its as if no time as passed.
SPOUSE: Though Lennon is single, she was previously married to Stone Walsh, who passed away from an overdose shortly after their daughter Lilah was born.
CHILDREN: Lennon has two children- her 17 year old step daughter Talulah ( her late husband's daughter from a previous relationship ) and her three year old daughter, Lilah.
PETS: Lennon has a dog named Harley. She was a birthday present from her husband.
CARS: Lennon has two cars - she can often be seen driving around Limbo in her husband's '67 Camaro. When she has her children with her, she drives her Range Rover, a gift to herself.
CURRENT HOME: Lennon and her kids currently live in an apartment that's just large enough for fit the three of them comfortably. She keeps her space clean and tidy, despite Lilah throwing a bunch of toys around while playing.
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02/01/2021 02:16 PM
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lets talk about sex | cs.
what is my muse’s sexual/romantic orientation?
Lennon would label herself as a bisexual, though she leans more towards men. because she's stupid.
at what age did my muse lose their virginity?
When she was fourteen. She did anything she could to disobey her parents and their 'rules', and sleeping with the 20 year old next door seemed like the best way to do so.
would my muse have sex on the first date?
absolutely - but it would depend on the chemistry. if you're boring, there's a good chance Lennon won't be sleeping with you.
would my muse ever ask someone on a date?
It would depend on who she's asking. Ferg would most likely be the only person she'd ask, unless it was one of her girlfriends.
does my muse prefer to be asked on a date, or would they rather do the asking?
much rather be asked.
what are my muse’s fetishes/kinks?
Lennon is VERY submissive. She likes to please her partners, and has a very strong Daddy kink ( minus the age play, that part is weird to her ). Aside from that, she loves to have her hair pulled, biting, spanking/being spanked, being choked, being tied up, knife play, wax play.... etc.
when did my muse go on their first date?
Middle school. Seventh grade, maybe? She and her date went to the minigolf place in downtown Portland and shared a milkshake.
what is my muse’s ideal date?
Lennon is very... simple, in terms of what she likes/doesn't like. She's absolutely fine with putting on a movie and ordering a pizza, but doesn't mind dressing up and going out for a night on the town. The setting doesn't matter so much to her, the company does.
has my muse ever been in love?
Yes. Lennon fell in love with Stone Walsh the moment she laid eyes on him.
what was my muse’s last serious relationship like?
Almsot a year ago.
would my muse ever get married?
Yes. Hesitantly, though. She's pretty shook up over the death of her previous husband, and fears that if she were to ever get married again, the same thing would happen.
would my muse prefer a big wedding or a small wedding?
Small. Something in a backyard, or in the woods. Big weddings are fun and all, but a bitch is broke.
is my muse a sub, dom, or switch?
sub, through and through.
what was my muse’s first time like?
At the time, she thought it was great - but looking back, it was messy... sloppy... uncomfortable? She didn't really enjoy herself too much.
is my muse into monogamy?
Yes. If titles are involved, then she absolutely is all about ONE person. If she's single though, she a lil hoe.
would my muse ever be in a poly amorous relationship?
Lennon doesn't like to share... what's hers is hers.
has my muse ever had sex in public?
yepp. she's a hoe, remember?
what was my muse’s first heartbreak?
She was cheated on back in high school. She thought her life was over and she wouldn't be able to find love again.... She was in a new relationship four weeks later.
what are my muse’s requirements for a potential partner?
Someone with a sense of humor - if she can't crack jokes with you, or tease you about something, it won't work. Someone that listens to her rant about the planets and wtf they're doing, someone that will let her put her cold feet on them when they're cuddling. Someone who accepts kids. Someone that's not afraid to communicate the hard stuff with her.
how many people has my muse slept with?
that's for her to know, and you to never find out.
is my muse the type to sleep around?
yes and no - it all depends on her relationship status, AND if she's feeling someone. Typically, the answer is no. But it depends.
would my muse ever cheat on their partner?
No. She's big on honesty, communication, and trust.
what was my muse’s worst romantic/sexual relationship?
Definitely the dude she lost her virginity to.
would my muse ever date/marry/sleep with someone because they were rich?
She's currently looking for a sugar daddy so.... yes.
would my muse ever lie for sex?
No.
would my muse ever blackmail someone into sex?
I want to say no, but she's shady sometimes.
who is my muse’s celebrity crush?
Lennon is lowkey in love with Nick Jonas and Jeffery Dean Morgan. Don't tell anyone.
has my muse ever had a one-night stand?
more than she can count.
does my muse like valentine’s day?
to an extent, yes. She enjoys it more when she has someone to spend it with, BUT she doesn't mind spending it alone because she'll usually just spoil her kids.
what are the ways my muse says ‘i love you’ without actually saying it?
"Get home safe", "I was thinking about you", "I saw this at the store and thought you would like it". Lennon is VERY big on giving gifts, especially for the people she loves. One of her love languages is also spending quality time, so if she asks you to hang out all the f***ing time, it's because she loves you. She'll send you songs that make her think of you. Oh, she'll also bake you some sort of edible.
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02/01/2021 02:12 PM
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Valentines Day alphabet
[borrowed from: rosemary's babe /122639]
 A: AFFECTION. How does your muse show affection?
Lennon is pretty hesitant to show affection, only doing so when there's an indication from her partner that it's wanted. When the door opens, she's very big on touch - touching hands, running her fingers through their hair, rubbing their back. She also loves kissing, whether it's on the lips/cheek/forehead, etc.
B: BOUQUET. Does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favorite?
Yes! She always dreamed of owning a garden, but failed each time, so she settles on buying herself flowers every now and then. Her all time favorites are peonies, but also loves lilies, sunflowers, & roses ( only the pink and orange ones, though ).
C: CHOCOLATE. Does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favorite?
She does love chocolate, but can't eat it too often because it upsets her stomach. She loves Reece's peanut butter cups, and the raspberry creme chocolates that can be found in valentine's day heart boxes.
D: DATE. What is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?
Something lowkey. She's really not picky when it comes to the actual date, and is fine with getting dressed up and going out for a night on the town, but Lennon much rather prefers something simple. Her favorite dates are the ones spent at home with a bottle of wine and a pizza.
E: EMBRACE. Does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like? She does - it goes back to physical touch being one of her love languages. She believes a hug can erase a world of problems. It really depends on the situation, but her hugs can range from quick, one armed hugs, to a full on tight embrace.
F: FLIRT. Is your muse good at flirting? how do they flirt? Flirting seems to be Lennon's second language. Most of the time she doesn't mean to flirt, but she's always quick to throw compliments at someone/throw in some sort of sexual innuendo into the conversation, if appropriate.
G: GIFT. Is your muse good at gift-giving or do they struggle to get it right?
One of Lennon's other love languages is gift-giving, thus making it easy for her to find a perfect gift for someone ( she's a bit of a perfectionist though, so this can cause problems for her. If she can't find the PERFECT gift, she'll be stressed for days. ). She really pays attention to conversations and makes mental notes of things her friends/family/partners mention in passing that they'd like, and usually finds a way to give it to them.
H: HEART. Is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away? Unfortunately, both. Depending on the situation, she can be a f***ing sloth when it comes to falling in love, but some people... some people have her writing her vows before they even say hello.
I: I LOVE YOU. Does your muse find ‘i love you’ easy or hard to say? In a platonic sense, she says it way too often ( though she typically does mean it - she has a lot of love for the people in her life ). But romantically, she's more about saying it when she feels the time is right. She doesn't like being the first to say it, but will bite the bullet if she feels things are going well enough. But once she says it, she won't shut the f*** up about it and will tell you she loves you over and over until you're sick of hearing it.
J: JEALOUSY. Does your muse get jealous in a relationship? No. If she's in a relationship, she's secure enough to know that her partner wants her and only her.
K: KISS. Is your muse a good kisser? why / why not? She's had zero complaints on her kissing abilities. Probably due to her hours of practice as a kid... she was one of the weirdos who 'made out' with her hand.
L: LOVE. Who does your muse love? Lennon loves a lot of people - her children, her friends, her dog.
M: MARRIAGE. What is your muse like or will be like in a marriage? Lennon loved being married. Waking up next to your best friend every day, and finding new reasons to fall in love were the best parts of her marriage. She and Stone were disgustingly cute with each other ( the club would tell them they were gross 24/7, so it must be true ), but they'd butt heads often. She's very passionate in her relationships, though, and if she ever decides to get married again, she doesn't see that being any different.
N: NAUGHTY. What is your muse like in bed? Submissive. She's all about pleasing her partner. She could be a switch depending on the person and what they want sexually, but she loves being dominated, rather than doing the dominating.
O: ODE. Does your muse have a way with words? She likes to pretend she does.
P: PARTNER. What does your muse look for in a partner? looks/personality?
Both are equally important to Lennon - she won't waste time on someone she doesn't find attractive, though personality matters more to her than pysical looks. She wants someone that can take a joke while also roasting her at the same time. Someone that's down for adventures and maybe murder?? who knows. Someone that gets along with children, since her kids are a huge part of her life.
Q: QUESTION. Would your muse ask the big question or expect their partner to? She's not opposed to asking, but would rather be asked.
R: ROMANCE. is Your muse a romantic or a cynic? At her core, Lennon is a romantic person. But sometimes, the cynic in her does shine through when things don't go her way.
S: SWEETHEART. Did your muse have a childhood sweetheart? No. A childhood felon, maybe.
T: TRUE LOVE. Does your muse believe in true love? Of course she does.
U: UNREQUITED. Has your muse had their heart broken? A few times. Cheated on, husband died. You know, the usual.
V: VALENTINE. How does your muse feel about valentine’s day?
She doesn't mind it, but would enjoy it more if she had someone to share it with. She finds it to be a cheesy hallmark holiday, but enjoys having another reason to spoil someone.
W: WEDDING. Would your muse get married? why/why not?
Hesitantly, yes. She does have reservations due to losing her first husband, and technically is still married, so she'd have to work up the courage to change her last name.
X: XOXO. Does your muse use / like pet names? Lennon loves having nicknames/petnames, especially from her partners. Her current favorite is little one.
Y: YOURS. Does your muse get protective easily?
Yes, yes, yes. This has a lot to do with losing Stone - she will do anything in her power to help/protect those she loves, though she has a hard time protecting herself.
Z: ZZZ. how many people has your muse slept with? More than she can count on one hand.
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02/01/2021 02:11 PM
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nsfw questionnaire.
1. top turn on?
I love, love, LOVE being praised. Call me a good girl and i'mma die.
2. last time you had sex with the opposite gender?
A couple of days ago.
3. last time you had sex with the same gender?
a while ago, i'd say.
4. last time you masturbated?
hm. last night maybe.
5. what’s the weirdest thing that has turned you on?
having my feet massaged? I'm not into foot stuff but.... sheesh. when the right pair of hands are doing god's work, anything will turn you on.
6. what’s the weirdest thing you’ve masturbated with?
I don't think I have an answer for this one? maybe the end of a hairbrush when I was a teen.
7. what’s the weirdest kind of p0rn you’ve watched?
When you're picky like I am, you end up watching a lot of weird p0rn.
8. how often do you masturbate/have sex?
masturbate almost daily, if not every other day. Sex wise, often
9. have you ever taken nude pictures?
yepp. took some earlier to send my man that's not my man.
10. dom or sub?
Sub. I don't mind dabbling in a more dominant role if my partner asks, but I'm not very comfortable wtih it.
11. is pain a good thing?
yes, yes. YES. Pain and pleasure go hand in hand for me.
12. do you like biting?
I do. I love to bite my partners, and be bitten as well. Mark me, I don't care.
13. do you like scratching?
I do. I tend to do it out of habit, but I also like leaving my mark behind.
14. are you slightly horny right now?
a dumb question.
15. are you very horny right now?
i said it was a dumb question!! .....maybe.
16. do you like face f***ing?
I do. I just really like giving head so like. Do your worst
17. 5 of your biggest turn ons?
being praised, biting, slapping/spanking, hair pulling, when men whisper 'f***' under their breaths like you can't hear them
18. do you cook naked?
no, not really. i prefer to at least have something on.
19. do you like foreplay?
sex without foreplay is BORING. Tease me. Make me so worked up that I beg for you to f*** me.
20. have you had a vaginal orgasm?
duh.
21. do you like sex with women?
I do, but I don't do it often enough.
22. do you like sex with men?
f*** yes.
23. would you have sex with a best friend?
yes, but as long as both parties are willing. it's fun.
24. do you like your nipples played with?
they're one of my spots, touch em and i'm like putty in your hands
25. do you like your lips bitten?
yes please. bite them, tug them, whatever. just do it.
26. do you like to kiss with tongue?
..... is there any other form of kissing??
27. how often do you masturbate?
you already asked this question. every other day, though.
28. have you masturbated while someone else was in the room?
yes. i find it extremely hot when you and your partner are masturbating while staring at each other. 10/10, chefs kiss.
29. would you have sex with a married person?
No. Not unless it was a threesome and discussed ahead of time.
30. would you have sex with a couple/multiple people?
heck yes.
31. do you go outside naked?
I'm naked 95% of the time because I hate clothing... so yeah, probably.
32. do you like being woken up with sex?
I do. I might be cranky, but f*** it out of me. I'm a willing participant !!
33. do you give oral?
I love to give oral. it's one of my favorite forms of foreplay.
34. would you let someone eat off of you?
most likely. depends on what's being eaten, though.
35. what is the youngest/oldest you would sleep with?
I like my men older, to be honest. So I don't think I'd have sex with anyone under the age of 25. Oldest would probably be mid 50s? Depends on how attractive they are.
36. do you like having drunk sex?
I do, but I don't always remember it.
37. do you enjoy wearing lingerie?
I do. For myself, and for my partner. Very big on visuals, and there's something about a female figure in lingerie. Chefs kiss.
38. what is your favorite thing about sex?
Intimacy. The unspoken words. The desire you feel for another. The need for another.
39. what is your favorite sexual setting?
anywhere - a bed, a couch, a table, against the wall, in the shower, in public.
40. would you ever fool around in a movie theater?
yes - i have a few times when I was younger. would be fun to do it again.
41. would you ever make a p0rno with your bf/gf?
yes, i would.
42. would you ever do a photo shoot in sexy clothes for your bf/gf?
oh, definitely. I already shower my partner with photos of me in lingerie, so might as well keep it up at this point.
43. do you like it rough or sensual?
A little bit of both. Rough is my go to, but sometimes... sometimes feeling the passion someone feels for you during sex is so..... f***. it's hot.
44. do you prefer to be with the opposite sex or the same sex? or both?
I'm attracted to both sexes, but I do prefer to sleep with the opposite sex.
45. how often do you get drunk and have wild, crazy sexy with a complete stranger?
Not very often, to be honest. I used to do it more when Stone died, but I've been toning it down as of recent.
46. how do you feel about one night stands?
I'm all for them. Sometimes I just want to enjoy a person for a limited amount of time without worrying about them ever again.
47. do you prefer to make love or f***?
both. but I f***, mostly.
48. have you ever watched p0rn while having sex?
I have. We didn't pay much attention after the first five minutes, though.
49. how long do you usually fore-play before doing the deed?
Depends on how badly my partner wants to tease me.
50. do you like kissing during sex?
I do. Not always, in certain cases I prefer not to.. one night stands, and such. but if you're someone I care about, please smother me in kisses.
51. does size matter?
No, but I won't complain about a well-endowd man.
52. how many sexual partners have you have in the last month?
One. It'll most likely stay that way as well.
53. what does your favorite foreplay include?
Oral, breast/nipple play, hot and heavy kissing where you can't seem to get enough of each other.
54. have you ever done anal? if so, did you like it?
yes and yes.
56. do you ever worry about how you’re pleasing your partner?
honestly, all the time. I tend to be an overthinker in general.. but I want to do a good job and have my partners feel good.
57. could you live without sex?
probably not, to be honest... especially now.
58. how long does a typical sexual episode last for you?
depends. usually, long enough that I feel like I've ran a marathon afterwards.
59. do you like to perform oral sex?
yes. I thought we already discussed this!!
60. do you like to receive oral sex?
yes, please.
61. have you ever taped yourself in the act?
I haven't, but I would love to tbh. though... I can only imagine the ugly faces I make during sex so maybe not.
62. have you ever had a 3-some? 4-some? 5-some?
threesome, yes.
63. have you ever been caught in the act?
My parents caught me with the felon next door when I was 14.
64. have you ever had sex while on drugs?
daily. sex and cocaine go hand in hand these days.
65. would you let other people watch you have sex live?
probably. I have no shame in my game, tbh.
66. do you ever have sex in the shower?
YES. However... it's uncomfortable and unrealistic to fit two bodies in one small ass shower.
67. what was the biggest age difference with a partner?
12 years.
68. do you feel your up to par in bed?
I've had no complaints, so I'm going to say yes. Unless I've been lied to, but usually everyone comes back for more.
69. what was your most embarrassing sexual moments?
I puked on someone once while giving them head.
70. do you like having sex in cars? if so, driver seat, passenger, or back?
I do for the MOST part. Back seat is where it's at, but some of the hottest sex I've had was in the drivers seat.
71. do you wear protection as often as you should?
depends on my partner.. usually, yes. but recently, no.
72. do you prefer to sleep with someone older or younger than you?
older older older.
73. have you ever done bondage sex (chains ,whips, etc.)?
yes, I love it.
74. can you remember who gave you the best sex of your life?
I can. I won't name names and let his ego get any bigger, but he knows.
75. if you could sleep with ANYONE, who would it be?
I've already slept with everyone I hoped I could, but maybe... like.... nick jonas?
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02/01/2021 02:09 PM
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character studies.
Below, you can find a list of all of the character studies that I've done for Lennon.
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02/01/2021 02:08 PM
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visits. | drabble
Fingers twist amongst each other as Lennon sits anxiously in front of her husband’s headstone, a feeling of intense sadness washing over her. She hated coming here, hated that this was the only way she could talk to Stone. The anniversary of his death was coming up soon, and the realization that time had moved so suddenly, yet so painstakingly slow, left her feeling lost. Confused, even.
Weight shifts from one hip to the other as she exhales a sigh, finally looking up from her hands to the grave. “I miss you,” she admits, though she never hid it very well. Anyone could see the pain in her eyes when she spoke about him. “Lilah’s gonna be four soon.. Can you believe that? Our little baby isn’t a baby anymore.”
She ignores the tears that stain her cheeks as flashbacks of memories flood her mind. Most of Stone and Lilah, and Stone and Talulah. Memories of when they were a family. When things were good.
“Lulu misses you. She doesn’t… she doesn’t like to talk to me much, but I know that not having you around has been really hard on her.” Lennon says, finally bringing the back of her hand up to wipe her face. He always hated seeing her cry. “I’m really trying to get her to open up to me, but I think.. I think she blames me.”
Her step daughter was never a fan of her, something that Lennon hated but understood. She had hoped that maybe after Stone’s untimely death that the teenager would make the effort to be around more, to try to build up a relationship with her. But as time passed, it seemed more unlikely. “I guess I don’t blame her.. I kind of blame myself too. I wish… I wish I had known that you were using again,” she shrugs, face falling to a frown. “Maybe I could have gotten you some help..”
The ‘what ifs’ ate her alive at night. As an addict herself, she stupidly avoided all the warning signs, all of the evidence that stared her blindly in the face. How could she have been so stupid to not speak up and say anything? Though Lennon understood that it really wasn’t her fault, she still felt guilty. Still felt like she could have stopped him.
“I hope.. That wherever you are, you’re happy. And healthy. Keep looking out for our babies, Stone. I love you.”
Lips press to the cold granite, and then, she’s gone.
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01/29/2021 02:12 PM
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euphoria.
Faint whispers and heavy breaths surround the space between us, rough hands on my skin. We’ve been here so many times before, and yet you discover new ways to devour me and send me into my own version of euphoria.
I beg for more - more of your touch, more of your hands, more of your mouth, more of you. You deliver - your lips meeting mine, your hand on my waist, pulling me further into the depths of your embrace.
Maybe it’s my blind optimism, or my wishful thinking, but in these moments I know that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, with your skin on mine, our limbs entangled in sweet serenity.
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01/25/2021 06:14 PM
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therapy | multi-muse monday
“Hudson? I hate to.. Interrupt your thoughts, but we only have fifteen minutes left. Is there anything you’d like to talk about?”
A loaded question. One with no definite answer.
Hudson had planned out everything he had wanted to talk about at his therapy session today, but the moment he sat in the pleather chair, words seemed to fail him. He thought of Teddy, and the last moments they shared together. He thought of the guilt that ate away at him for killing his best friend. He thought of the guilt that ate away at him for getting away with it, too.
“Hudson?” His therapist asked again.
“Do you ever think about death?” Hudson asked, gaze shifting from the floor to Johnathan’s face.
He watched as the older man shifted in his seat, weight moving from one hip to the other, a hand reaching up to scratch at his white beard. “I can’t say I do, no.”
“I’m not afraid to die,” Hudson admitted, shoulders shrugging as he fidgeted with his hands. “I’m more afraid of living.” He had thought of death many times since losing his best friend - wondering if it was a peaceful experience, or if he’d be sent to eternal damnation and suffering because of the sins he had committed. Life, though, was not as thrilling as everyone made it out to be. Not anymore, at least. Not after losing Teddy.
“Care to explain?” Johnathan asked, thick brows moving to the center of his forehead as he peered over the frame of his glasses, pen moving across the notepad in his lap.
“Well… I just don’t want to live anymore. I don’t want to kill myself, or anything. But I don’t want to be alive,” the younger male confessed, shrugging again. “I.. I feel guilty for living. For carrying on with my life while my best friend lays six feet deep. I was the one that put him there,” Hudson looked back at his hands now, fingers picking at the skin around his cuticles. Ripping and tearing piece after piece, the sting left behind easing his anxiety just enough to continue the conversation.
“The accident wasn’t your fault, Hudson. I don’t think it’s fair to blame yourself for something that couldn’t have been avoided.”
“Right.” Sonny said quickly. No one knew what actually happened that night, everyone still assumed it was a freak accident, or that Sonny lost control of the car. He wasn't ready to admit to other people that he was drunk, or that he was driving like an a**hole. Sighing, he shifted his weight in the chair again. “The point is.. I don’t deserve to be here.”
Johnathan continued to write in his pad of paper, the room falling silent for a few moments before he cleared his throat to continue. “It’s natural to have survivor’s guilt in situations like this, but I believe that Teddy would want you to keep going. Have you thought about getting back into music? Maybe you can create something to honor your friend.”
“Yeah… maybe.”
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