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04/11/2024 12:35 PM 

Wash it all Away

Peace, such a simple thing that was fleeting at best for most. This was especially true for Elena. Her life had been full of turmoil. She had tried having her memories compelled away. That was amazing while it lasted. Unfortunately, she couldn't live that way forever. Reality had come knocking as it always did. She had to have her memories returned. For a while after they came rushing in, she spiraled out of control. This was what everyone had expected. Elena was shattered all over again. This time she wouldn't just have the memories removed again, that had obviously failed. She needed to find a new solution. 


Elena remembered that while living in New Orleans that she would sometimes take a trip to the beach and find peace there. The soft crashing of the waves, the warm ocean breeze, and absolute tranquility. Elena always enjoyed those times. Now needing sanctuary and a complete reset since she had been back in Mystic Falls she knew exactly where to go. She would go to her newfound happy place, the beach. It was there that she would be able to rest and recharge. 


After weeks of resting and relaxing at the beach, Elena decided she didn't want to leave. She enjoyed the peace that being here afforded her. It didn't take her long to find herself a job here and even a small cabin she could rent to live in for an affordable rate. Soon she went from vacationer to resident. She settled in quite nicely, enjoying her new home away from the stresses of the supernatural. Here she could have her memories intact and just live life as a normal human girl.


Days in her new home were spent working, Days off were spent enjoying the salty ocean air, swimming and relaxing. Nights were often spent beneath the stars. She was able to find tranquility, the sound of the rolling waves quite often lulling her to sleep. Whether it be inside, or even lying on a lounge chair on the beach. With each ebb and flow of the waves crashing onto the beach, she felt as though parts of her old life were being washed away and taken out to sea. 


Yes, she had run off once again, but this time, she had made sure that everyone knew where she would be and how to get ahold of her should the need arise. She even had an open invitation for any of her friends that may want to visit. This would remain a standing invitation. One thing was certain though. They could come here, and she would remain here. This is where she needed to be. Let the past wash away and a new beginning sprout as the roots took hold.


A soft breeze blew her dark brown hair, and a smile curled at the corners of her lips. As her eyes gazed out over the brilliant orangish coloring of the sunset reflecting on the water and even the wet sand she felt happy. Joy took gold in her heart and spread throughout her entire body. It was like a warmth, coursing its way through her veins. For the first time in a very long time, she felt happy. She felt purpose in life, and knew that she could go on. She knew that she would go on. She was a fighter, and the past was slowly washing away, making way for a bright and happy future.

12/20/2023 05:56 PM 

Shattered

Elena had convinced herself that she could actually be happy. How wrong she had been. She had allowed herself to be lulled into a false sense of security only to be played for a fool. She had known better than to allow herself to think that this was more than an illusion. That’s all it had ever been. She was dumb to think that someone she cared about would actually stick around. They never did, whether it be by them being killed or other means, she knew that the only person she could truly count on was herself.

 

She scoffed at the idea of happy endings. When would everyone open their eyes and see the world for what it really was? A place where the majority of living beings, human and non human alike, had self serving motives and cared little if any for others. She had sacrificed so much of herself for others. It was to the point that she was suffering as a result of. She didn’t care about it before, but recently realized that it wasn’t healthy to allow others to use her in such a manner. She too deserved happiness and presently this was rare and fleeting. 

 

Days were spent distracting herself and nights were spent drinking and sitting in an empty house. It had gotten to the point that she had rescinded all invitations she had extended to any vampires close to her so they could no longer enter her home. She didn’t want them waltzing in and just making themselves at home. She even stopped going to the Salvatore Boarding House as well, unless it was to grab another bottle of booze. Nobody had bothered coming by lately because they knew they would be met with an air of not being welcome. 

 

This behavior was anything but typical for Elena, but she had reached a point where she needed solitude. She needed to be away from the things that would remind her of the pain she felt deep within. The pain she had tried to ignore. It had only become a deep wound that began to fester more as the time dragged on. It had become a pain so great that it was utterly impossible to ignore any longer. It was like a splinter that had been left to become infected. She had to remove the irritant before any sort of healing could begin. 

 

Elena had been just a shell of what she usually was over the past several weeks. Try as she might to hide it, her struggle began to show. The facade of being perfectly fine and happy was beginning to crack, leaking the toxic inner turmoil as though sulfuric gas from a crack in the earth’s crust. The pain was flowing through her veins like molten lava, burning and searing as it reached every part of her body. The anger surged through her once more as she thought of the situation she was currently in. She then let out a frustrated growling grunt before throwing the glass she had in her hand. There was a loud crash as it hit the wall with such force that it shattered. 

 

Elena was the farthest thing from cruel and vengeful, but she was human. All of the emotions that came with this were completely intact, including rage.  She dared not utter a word of this to a certain vampire whose solution to these issues would be to rip the offender’s beating heart from their chest. That was not how she desired it to be handled. She needed time to recover after removing the splinter. 

 

Elena was resilient, with everything she had been through, she was still standing somehow. She was a fighter and would never just lie down and give up. She would also not allow herself to just wither away to nothing. If anything, she would bounce back stronger than ever. She always did, it’s what made Elena a formidable force in the world. Despite everything she had been through, she still cared about others. She wanted them to never feel the pain that had been deeply imbedded within her for so many years. 

 

Elena’s heart had been shattered over and over throughout the years. This had left tiny shards of glass that never fit quite right even with her best efforts to repair herself. With every breath she took, she could feel the shards stabbing and stinging. Some days were better, and some were worse. Lately the latter outweighed the former. Where there had been light, she could see only darkness. No light permeated the shroud that consumed her. Despite the efforts of her friends early on, nothing had worked. She now took solace in the solitude, the darkness growing ever powerful with each passing moment. She wanted it to end. The heartache, the pain, all of it. 

 

Having shattered her glass, she resigned herself to drinking right from the bottle, it didn’t matter anyway. It was only her drinking. With each drink, she felt herself slipping beneath the black water of the darkness that had become her home. Closing her eyes, she decided to surrender herself to the depths and just let go for now. To not feeling, to just existing in the vast abyss of nothingness.

12/14/2023 08:14 PM 

Not so Merry Christmas

Christmas time was a time for cheer and laughter. For happiness, family and friends. It was a time that both warmed Elena's heart and broke it simultaneously. The warmth was from the friends that remained, and the heartbreak was from the weight of every loss she had experienced. A stark reminder of the holes left behind in the wake of each and every one of them. Elena did her best every year to distract herself from these thoughts that threatened to pull her down into the depths of the dark abyss that threatened to swallow her whole at any moment. 

 

 

Caroline and Bonnie were always good at distracting her. Especially Caroline, who always had some sort of plans to bring holiday cheer to the town of Mystic Falls. There were many things that she helped coordinate. She was so good at it, and usually roped Elena into these plans to help organize. Elena was all too happy to do so, because it got her out of her head for a while.

 

 

The distractions offered her reprieve from her thoughts that constantly churned within her head. If left to her own devices, Elena would tailspin into a deep depression. If losing so many loved ones wasn't enough to drive one to the depths, she also felt responsible in some way for each death. Somehow or another they had all connected back to her. It was like anyone that got close to her wound up in mortal danger at some point or another. It wasn't just humans either. 

 

 

Silently she cursed the tears that involuntarily stung her eyes, as she tried to push these thoughts away once again. "I am so sick of crying!" She muttered under her breath as she wiped away the traitorous liquid that spilled from her eyes. When she was with others, she was able to put on a mask of being perfectly fine. It was when she was alone in solitude, that the thoughts and memories crashed over her in waves.

 

 

She could only take so much before she would inevitably break. For now, she would put on the brave face and at night when she was alone, let the emotions out, away from everyone. A bottle of bourbon would be her constant companion in these dark days. The house had minimal decorations, mainly thanks to her friends. This year, she wasn't feeling very 'Merry and bright'. Taking another large swig of amber liquid, feeling the burn as it went down her throat she sighed.

 

 

She didn't want any company tonight. Just time to simply feel. Just for once to let it all out without feeling like she was doing something wrong. Nobody ever told her that, she just felt it deep within her core when she let her emotions run free. Just once to finally let the dam open and just be human. She owed this to herself after the years of pain that built up. That would be her gift to herself. "Have yourself a not so merry little Christmas.", she muttered to herself as she continued to drink herself numb.

10/22/2023 05:18 PM 

Ghosts of the Past (Elena AU Part 2)

Several months had passed since Elena’s memories were wiped and she had begun her new life in New Orleans under the name Shelly. She had no recollection of having been anyone else. She worked at one of the busiest bars in the city which tourists frequented. She always made good tips and had even been given several phone numbers. She never saved them, as she knew that the people giving them to her were drunk and likely only after one thing. She didn’t have anything against one-night stands, but they just weren’t her style. Not to mention she had no way of knowing if these people had a partner who would be pissed if they found out about the sordid affair. No, it was best to avoid that sort of trouble. 


The encounter she had previously resounded in her head as though on a loop. She had been called Elena. Who the hell was that and who the hell was that psychopath that had nearly killed her. She had no recollection of having wronged anyone and felt bad for this ‘Elena’ person she had been mistaken for. Then there was the matter of his eyes looking like there was some sort of black roots growing beneath the skin under his eyes. The other thing was that she had seen…fangs? No, it had to have been a hallucination brought about by the exhaustion of the night as well as her being completely caught off guard.


In a city wrought with rumors of vampires, witches, and even ghosts, living here as a skeptic was not the easiest thing to manage. On many occasions she had been asked if she had run across any of these 3 in her daily life. Her answer was always simple and unchanging. It was this, “I don’t believe all the hype, but I can point you to some shops that would be able to answer that question and many others that you may have on the subject.” There were many shops, even one self-proclaimed ‘Vampire store’ as well as many ‘witch friendly’ stores.  She had no reason to venture into them, but just having the knowledge of their existence and locations was extremely useful. Even if the conversation was begun with the intention of trying to hit on her, the knowledge was still good to have. Since the encounter with what she assumed to be a mugger, Elena had begun carrying a can of pepper spray as well as a couple of additional personal protective items. There was no way in hell she would ever be caught in that situation again.


She also had a high-pitched emergency whistle. Her fear washed over her every time she stepped out of the bar. Her experience wasn’t something she would have ever expected to happen. Especially with how strong the man was and what she could only explain as hallucinations. She had seen fangs growing in his mouth and these weird blackish veins beneath his eyes as they darkened. When he brushed his arm across her necklace, he had recoiled in pain and made a growling noise. She was absolutely sure that this was nothing more than a delusion because people couldn’t do things like that. The only explanation she had for the necklace affecting him in such a manner was that he must have been highly allergic to silver. 


These thoughts swirled around in her head as she stood outside waiting for a friend and roommate to meet her. Ever since her encounter with the mysterious psychopath, her roommate had walked home with her every night. They had coordinated their work schedules for safety reasons and their bosses were gracious enough to work with them once the learned the reason why. They knew that safety was very important for young women in the city. Though they seemed alarmed by the experience that Elena had. Though, she didn't remember this was her name and had been very confused. She had chalked it up to a case of mistaken identity. It wasn't any less terrifying though.


The warm night air surrounded her as they walked toward home. It was a bit of a walk to their home, but the walk was peaceful. For this she was thankful. Though, quiet can mean danger, just as much as activity can. Of this she knew but wasn't sure just how she knew. Something within her told her this. Maybe its because she knew the city she lived in, but it felt deeper than that. It was something she couldn't put her finger on. A soft touch on her arm caused her to jump. Her friend looked at her with concern evident in her eyes. "Hey, are you ok?" She asked. Elena smiled and nodded, "Yeah. I'm ok. Just lost in thought." Her new life and everyone around her here knew her as Shelly. The new name was part of the memory wipe package. 


Despite this fact, she couldn't shake the feeling that she had a connection to this name, Elena. This thought rolled around in her mind for a moment, as they approached their home. Little did she know, everything in her life was well organized and planned out. Her home, her friend/roommate, even her job. All had been set in place as a favor to some vampires she once knew but had no recollection of. The dim light from the streetlamp overhead illuminated the steps in front of their home. Sitting on the stairs there was a simply wrapped package with only the name 'Elena' written on it. There it was again. That name. Who the hell was Elena and why was she being referred to as this name?


She quickly collected the package before her roommate saw the name and questioned her about this. Upon getting inside she quickly went to her room and opened the package. Inside there was a card and what looked to be a garment wrapped in delicate paper. The card was printed on a thick stock and looked quite fancy. Opening it, she saw that it was an invitation to an upcoming Masquerade ball in celebration of Carnival, also known as Mardi Gras. These balls were not small affairs, and only the most affluent were invited, as they were usually the ones able to afford the dues required as a membership to join a Krewe. There was no Krewe name mentioned on the invitation. It simply read 'Ms. Elena Gilbert, the pleasure of your attendance is requested tomorrow eve at the Mikaelson Compound in celebration of Carnival. Enclosed with this invitation, you will find attire suitable for such an event. A car will arrive to fetch you at 7:30PM' There was no signature. 


Placing the invitation on her bed, she moved the paper and found what looked to be a very expensive formal dress and matching jewelry and shoes and even gloves. How was she supposed to attend something tomorrow night, when she had to work? Just as though this question had been heard, she received a text from her boss telling her that she was not needed at work the following night. Now she was beginning to be weird out. The invitation, the lavish clothing, her suddenly having the night off? This felt like a trap, but she had never been one to shy away from danger. A fighting spirit flared to life within her once again. Who would want to lure her into a trap? She was a nobody. However, if she was able to spare this Elena person a grisly fate, she would take it. Moving the box, she got ready for bed and went to sleep, as she was exhausted.


The next day, she awakened with nerves in her stomach. She had no idea what this night would have in store for her, but she would know in a matter of hours. Her day went by very quickly. As time drew nearer, she began to feel more nerves in her stomach. She began to even feel physically ill. Once she has her hair and makeup on, she slipped into the strapless ballgown, and put her earrings on, then the shoes, and finally the gloves. Right at 7:30PM there was a knock on the door. Upon opening it, she saw a limo, not a stretch one, but one that wealthy people in big cities took to get anywhere. She was nervous and hesitant to go to the car and get in, but she did. 


The drive was about 20 minutes, and as she pulled up to the lavish home, she took a deep breath hoping to steel her nerves. As she stepped out of the car, a warm wind blew, the weight of the humidity pressing down on her more than usual due to how anxious she was. Approaching the door, she held her invitation and gave it to the door man, as he presented her. She looked around and felt another wave of nausea roll through her. She had no idea what the night would hold for her, but she knew that it would be something big.

09/28/2023 08:05 PM 

Set Fire to the Past and Watch it Burn (Elena AU Part 1)

She had lost everything, her parents, her aunt, her uncle/birth father, and finally her brother. The pain was too much to bear. One person alone couldn't possible contain so much loss and heartache. She didn't want to go on. How could she with her entire life in shambles? Ever since she had learned about the existence of vampires so much more had gone wrong in her life than she could ever imagine. 

Elena took one last look at look at her family home and felt the tears stinging her eyes. All this place brought was an intensely unbearable pain. Holding back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes she lit a match and dropped it onto the booze that soaked the floor. With that, she walked out the front door and into the yard. She didn't care who saw the raging inferno as the entire house went up in flames. 

The dancing firelight reflected in her eyes as she watched the only home she had ever really known turn into nothing. She had to explain her brother's death, and she got rid of the one thing that contained as much pain as her own mind and heart. Too much for her fragile human soul to bear. It was at that moment that she turned to Damon and begged him to compel away her memories. She wanted no trace of her old life left to drag her down into the dark abyss. 

If she had been a vampire she would have easily flipped her humanity switch and taken away all emotion. Thus far, she had been lucky enough to survive as a human. With so many vampires around her, this was shocking, but at the same time not. She wanted to remain human. With a surge of anger and pain coursing through her, she demanded that her memories of vampires, werewolves and anything else also be wiped. 

Despite the memory wipe, one thing remained unchanged as it was part of her very DNA. She was and always would remain a doppelganger, even if she had no recollection of this. As part of the compulsion, she was told to wear her vervain necklace and that it had a special sentimental value to her. She was given a new name and a new life. Despite all of this and no longer having recollection of the world she was and forever remained a part of, inevitably she would one day be drawn back in. 

It was with this knowledge that she started with a clean slate and felt drawn to New Orleans. There she got a job at one of the busiest bars in town and was able to start her life anew. She was going by the name of Shelly now as part of her new life package, but nothing could ever change who or what she truly was. 

Despite her compulsion to forget the world of anything not human, she was followed one night after her shift ended. Waving to her coworkers with the bubbly smile she always wore she stepped out into the still bustling French Quarter. It wasn't unusual for a drunk tourist to seem like they were following you. Shrugging it off she told herself, "Snap out of it Shelly. Nobody is following you!"

It wasn't long before she was quickly pushed into an alley seeing the darkness around this man's eyes and fangs growing in his mouth. Her heart was beating very fast as he tried to compel her not to scream. This compulsion failed as her necklace kept her safe. A hand gripped her throat tightly and threatened to cut off her air supply, the bare skin on this man's arm brushing the silver pendant. Letting out a painful yelp as his skin burned, he knew that in order to get her, he would need to catch her without the necklace.

Moving back, his face returned to human as a sinister threat was spoken into the warm, humid night. "Next time, you won't be so lucky Elena." Blinking her eyes fast as he was gone as quickly as he had come, she couldn't figure out what had happened. Who...no what was he and why had he called her by another name than her own? What the hell had her necklace done to him? Rubbing her sore neck, she quickly made her way back home, determined to solve this mystery about who she was and what this thing had wanted with her.

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