It had almost been nine months since the seventeen year old redhead checked herself into the insane asylum. She had checked herself into a joke, but it was an insane asylum all the same. It had been nine months since the love of her life went insane and shot everybody
dead in his way in the High School they went to. Nine months since
he committed one of the most heinous crimes in
history, and then let them find him, and shoot him dead. About eight months since Phoenix Carney found out she had been carrying that same criminal’s baby. And Seven and a half months altogether in this hellhole of a
rehabilitation facility. And it had been about two hours since her water broke, which indicated that this baby was finally ready to make his appearance.
The time seemed to go by slowly, especially being the only pregnant one there. Nobody really spoke to her during recreational times, and her roommates never lasted long with her. She couldn’t really take any drugs to drown out the thoughts, so maybe too much noise wasn’t a good idea anyway. It seemed like even the more insane folks even knew that, and stayed far away from her. The only things she was able to have were Zoloft and a cigarette. She spent a lot of time writing in her journals, and steering clear from people who seriously pissed her off. She knew all of the orderlies and their secrets, and she had to keep her mouth shut, or else they would add on more time with her there, like they had before.
Yes, Phoenix had checked herself in, but that was because she was about to kill herself, and going back to school, and her father beating her after finding out
everything wasn’t really good for her. So she checked herself in, but she didn’t really expect for the place to be so different. The staff only followed the doctor’s rules, who ran the whole entire building. His name was Dr. Eichen, who was sexist, snarky, and very strict. The Therapist was the only one Phoenix spoke to, and the one she ran to whenever her water broke. Her name was Doctor Francis, and she was the only one who listened to her, and encouraged her.
Unfortunately, Dr. Eichen would always decide that Phoenix needed more time every time she would go for her monthly evaluation, because she talked back to him, or didn’t
try hard enough to where he saw fit. She had come to the conclusion some months ago that this man was going to make her time there much worse. It was disgusting enough there, and she didn’t want to have Isiah there, but it was too late. Her water broke, and she had to go to Dr. Francis immediately. But whenever she got to her office, she was there, but unfortunately Dr. Eichen was there as well, and the moment Phoenix had to tell them both she had been in labor, she didn’t even blink or breathe, before two orderlies came in at the snap of his finger and grabbed the redhead by her wrists before pushing her into a wheelchair, and strapping her wrists to the metal arm rests.
“What a wonderful moment it is for you!”
“
Just relax.Nix heard both of the doctors’ voices, trying to gauge on whether it was their thoughts, or what they were actually saying. Before she could answer, she got wheeled off down the hallway, and to the facility’s hospital quarters for emergencies. Phoenix wondered why they weren’t transferring her to an actual hospital. They had to let her out at some point after she had the baby. “Excuse me?” she asked, expecting an answer from someone, trying to ask what was going on, but as she spoke, a sharp pain entered her stomach, not expecting the labor pains to start at the very moment. She couldn’t help but stay silent now, and just breathe. Nobody was going to tell her sh*t anyway, and this baby was trying to come out fast.
The best she could do, as they guided her from the wheelchair, to the dusty hospital bed, was think about the plan whenever she was out. She was going to take her son, and take all of her father’s money, and run away. Far away. And never look back. And that’s the fresh start she needed. She wished his father was there. She could barely think of his name, but in the past few months, she was finally able to picture the soft, caring, amazing face. Not the person he had become that day. Grunting in pain, she felt them strap her wrists to the railings of the bed, as they began prepping fluid bags.
She had at least hoped this was a boy. It wasn’t like the place had the best exams, but at least Dr. Francis called in a female doctor. The baby was fine, but unfortunately, nobody could tell Phoenix what the gender had been. She continued to think about being a mother to him, as she began to go into even more pain. Looking up, she had seen Dr. Francis by her side, looking down at her. “It’s okay, just relax, take this,” she said, handing Phoenix a pill and a glass of water. She didn’t know what it was, but she assumed it would calm her down throughout all of this.
But whenever she took it, she just felt drowsy, at least too drowsy for a person who was in labor. Before she knew it, like a blur, Dr. Eichen was down there in her already spread legs. “Alright, you’re already losing too much blood,” he mentioned casually, before Nix gasped in pain once more. She felt like she was about to pass out. Already sweating, and breathing heavily, she felt a soft hand in hers. Not thinking twice but to squeeze it, she knew it was Dr. Francis’ hand. That was the last thing she remembered, before hearing about blood loss again, and completely passing out into a deep sleep.
.....
She couldn’t tell if that deep sleep consisted of nightmares, or good dreams, but Phoenix woke up feeling like her whole body was numb. Like she had pretty much died. Hearing a conversation as if it were in the distance, she opened her eyes to blurred lights. She couldn’t feel much, but she moved anyway, trying to find her focus. As she found her upper body strength, she sat up a bit, honing in on two figures talking right in front of her. Squinting, and not really able to gather much, she choked out words anyway, not remembering what happened mere minutes before this. “Where’s my baby?” she asked, focusing on Dr. Francis, she almost couldn’t tell who she was talking to.
Phoenix could tell she got their attention, because in two seconds, a guilty looking Dr. Francis ran to her side, asking how she felt, and that the teenager needed to rest. Why? She didn’t feel her baby anymore. She needed to know what they did with him. “What happened to my baby?” she asked, feeling the sharp pains in her stomach. She didn’t know if she lost the baby, or if they had him. “He is wonderful, and you lost a lot of blood, but the Doctor stabilized you,” she explained to her, not really answering her question. “Where is my baby?” she asked again, feeling disoriented and confused, and doing her best to ignore her pains, even though she knew she was on a high dosage of pain meds, she didn’t care. She needed to know what happened. “He is with the doctor, being prepped for transportation,” she finally answered. Phoenix’s eyebrows furrowed, not really understanding where they were taking her baby. “I don’t understand…” she told the woman, now looking behind her and focusing on a lady dressed in a black suit.
“Who the f*** is that?” she asked, now panicking. “I’m so sorry. I had to do what he said. She’s going to ensure your baby is okay,” she told her. Now sitting up in her hospital bed, Phoenix looked back at her therapist. “Is she from the system?! Why the f*** are you guys doing this? I told you I was ready, and that I can leave when I have this baby!” she said as loud as she could, now realizing her wrists were still strapped to the bed. Why the f*** was this happening? Why the f*** couldn’t she remember her c-section? Why couldn’t they let her hold him? “And you can get out of here, just not with him. The Doctor didn’t deem you fit to be a mother right now, and we agreed,” the new voice chimed in. As the CPS agent walked up to the other side of Nix’s bed, she felt vulnerable. And this place really made someone feel that way. Still feeling loopy, she also was getting angry. “I have in this folder all the things you need to get him back, if you wish. You just are not in the right spot for a child. Where were you going to go after this?” she asked her, seeming genuine, but the meds were messing with her
power, at the moment. She couldn’t tell.
“My father’s house,” she answered with a slight attitude, not really caring how nice anyone was being. “Your
abusive father,” she added.
Seeing what was going on here, she began to angrily try to get out of the bed, but couldn’t. She had realized her ankles were strapped as well. Watching the CPS woman put the folder on the bedside table, Phoenix turned her head to see Dr. Eichen, walking in with two orderlies, and a carseat with her baby strapped inside. Now moving about angrier, the sight of him made her sick. “What the F***!? Give me my baby! Why are you doing this to me!? Let us
GO!!” she began to raise her voice, not paying attention to the orderlies rushing to her side. “Relax, Miss Carney. A baby isn’t in the cards for you right now. You can leave next week when you’re recovered. I know this is difficult, but I want what’s best for him,” he said in the most sickenly softened voice she had ever heard.
They took her information, and used it against her. Was that even legal? She couldn’t think through sobs, and tears. Looking up to her therapist for any type of help but it seemed she stepped back whenever he came in. Nobody could help her. She was trapped there until she recovered, and she would be
alone. “Just let me hold him, once, please…” she sobbed, now wishing her baby did kill her. “His name is Isaiah. Please let me hold him,” she sobbed again, choking out the name she had given him. He was the only part of her left, and she couldn’t believe that part of her was being taken away just like that. They barely told her why. They didn’t even listen to her plan. She was too f***ed up and in pain to even have a rational conversation at the moment. She just wanted to hold him.
With the wave of the doctor’s hand, she knew he was done speaking to her. Now feeling terribly tired, and loopy, she didn’t realize the orderlies put something in her IV. She couldn’t hold Isaiah, and now he was being handed off to the agent. She could hear him crying, but she now couldn’t move. As she drifted off to sleep by force, she continued to cry for him. That was the moment she lost herself.
January 12th, 1995 was the date. That was the date Phoenix Carney became a shell of a human. That was the day the world completely stopped. Isaiah was gone, and he took part of her with him. How was she supposed to get him back? Crying herself to sleep, she didn’t fight anymore. She just wanted to get out of there.
