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The Dangers of Love.
Love
Among the cruel and self-centered dark elves, love is practically unheard of. Long-standing mates live together for practical reasons, not romantic ones, such as complementary careers, physical attractiveness, a legacy of producing many female heirs, political influence, and so on. Families remain together only because it provides a shield against enemies from outside the family (even though intra-family rivalries can be just as deadly as outside threats). Parents see children as a means to more power and are willing to sacrifice those children (males moreso than females) if it proves the key to greater power. Children quickly lose their innocent naivety and learn the horrible truths of drow society, thereafter seeing their parents as strict tormenters who nonetheless keep the world's predators at bay until the children can fend for themselves. In the rare cases where mated drow develop some affection for each other, it is usually when the male is an excellent physical specimen, has provided excellent service, and has never caused embarrassment to the female. In these cases, the bond is more like that of a spoiled or insensitive human matron and her pampered lapdog; the male is a cherished pet that will still be put down if it misbehaves too much. Even rarer is an honest bond of love between a parent and child, which is usually only possible if the parent is somehow resistant to the pressures of drow society and passes this trait on to the child. Zaknafein and his son Drizzt shared such a bond; the father's disdain of his own cruel race and wishes for a different life both existed in the son as well, and once they recognized their shared secret, they became close like human families are wont to do. Unfortunately for this famous pair, their aversion to the drow way of life was discovered (all too common, as living in secrecy is extremely taxing) and Zaknafein was sacrificed to Lolth. Courting
Lolthian drow have a matriarchal society where inheritance of property, titles, and birthright pass from mother to daughter. Bearing children is a sign of the power of femininity and an ability that men can never have. Because of these factors, drow women normally want to have as many children as their slow elven birthrate allows. Because the females have all the control, relationships between men and women have few protocols, and it is the women who decide who their lovers are and how long the relationship lasts. The concept of courting as understood by humans and other surface races is almost unknown to the drow; in a society where males are valueless and life is worth little, having a lengthy process of becoming involved with another person is inefficient. Furthermore, the concept of a male pursuing a coy or disinterested female is an aberration, for it puts the male in a position of power and the female in a subservient role. Any male that practiced such a tactic would quickly be tortured and sacrificed to the Spider Queen for his impertinence. Instead, "courting" is the responsibility of the females, who pick their mates like selecting a good breeding animal, and the males are expected to comply. Many times the selection of a mate is the start of a deadly rivalry between different females as they fight over the choicest specimens. These males usually end up the worse for wear in the deadly games of the female, and more than once has a female "given up" on a male only to leave him skinned and dead in her rival's bedchamber.Marriage
In a culture where females rule and males are little more than slaves, the idea of a female legally attaching herself to a single male for the rest of her life is an absurd concept. Marriage does not exist in Lolth's cities. Females take whatever consorts they wish and choose a new one when they grow bored with the old. If the dark elves could more easily fall in love, things might be different, but such concepts are ground out of the drow very early in life by the teachings of the Spider Queen.
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