"Baby, are you sure?"   No.  He wasn’t sure about anything anymore!  But that smile what started to show on her face made him know he wanted this.  He knew that he wanted her.  He watched as that shirt came off.  His eyes moved over her naked body.  “I’m sure I want you…” he had all along!  That was the worst part of the whole mess.  He wanted her desperately; he just wanted her to be the only thing.  He wanted to keep the other thoughts at bay.  He wanted to be himself; he wanted to be the man she had married.  He wanted nothing to tarnish what she saw in him.  But nothing could completely prevent that.  He was not the same man, he never would be again.  He was who he was now.  So he made no promises, and he kissed her with the new sad ache that they both felt.  Still, even that was somehow enough.  They just had to get used to each other again.   Like Nate had told her, she needed to get to know Allen all over again, and he her.  It felt new because it was.  This was a new love, a fragile one, but it could grow to be even deeper than what they had before, if they could tend to it like they needed to.

He found himself on top of her staring into his wife’s eyes.  Exchanging I love you’s and feeling only this moment.  She kissed his fingers as she held his good hand, “babe…” he buried his face at her neck and kissed her slowly.  As far as he knew they had all night.  He could take as much time as he needed.  “I missed this too.  I missed you…god… just feeling your skin against mine!!”  His breath at her neck as he teased her with soft long kisses leading from under her ear right around to the front.  “…I’m yours, Love…” he gently pulled his hand from her grip wanting to feel her.  He moved his touch down her side to her hip, grip her tight for a second there, and then his fingers slipped right back up her body to her breast, palming the roundness.  His mouth on hers again now.  The more he touched her, the more he felt her.  She was healing him, he was far from fixed!  And things would take forever to be truly peaceful.  But, this, here and now, he was learning that he could have this again.  His love for this woman was so strong.  He always wanted her!  His desire was so resilient; it pushed everything else away!  As yearning built between them with each touch and kiss, as his tongue tasted hers, as his hand gripped her flesh, his mind was taken over by Ryleigh!  He should have tried harder sooner.  This was all a sign that they could be okay!  They would be able to fix everything.  Sure this was sex, and sex wasn’t everything.  There was more they needed to work on.  Like communication!  They hadn’t talked through anything!  That would come.  Now…after this… it would come.  Allen didn’t doubt it.  He’d talk to her.  Probably the moment they collapsed exhausted from this act, he’d open up... he’d tell her the whole fucked up tale while holding her tight in their bed.  This was bigger than sex.  He was loving her, showing her that he loved her!  That he would always love her, that he was still hers.  That he still wanted her to be his.  That they could get through this.  He was pressed tight against her, his body so turned on.  His length hard and full. He groaned, as he pulled back from that kiss.  His lips held a smile.  Moving himself between her legs.  “Want me, Love?”  Already knowing she did.  He had to have her now!  He needed to feel her again.  Wanting to be inside her.  “…I don’t know how I wanted so long.” Everything that had happened was so far away from his mind now.  He only saw her.  He pressed the tip of his cock to her opening, but he did not push into her yet.  He waited for her answer, his lips only curved at the anticipation!

Allen stood in the bathroom staring in the mirror.  He had just gotten out of the shower.  It had been just over a week and his surgery for his hand would be tomorrow.  He looked at his useless hand.  He pulled the bag off that covered the temporary cast over his hand.  He was told that after the surgery he would have a brace, not a cast.  His bones would be 70% replaced!  It was a massive surgery and it would take all day and into the night.  His fingers were mostly alright, and his thumb had never been touched, His wrist was a mess and the bones in his palm were not repairable.  Just a few years ago he would have lost his hand. But now They were able to make him new bones!  He still wasn’t sure it would work.  But any chance to keep his hand was one he had to take.  He wanted to put all of this behind him.

His eyes shifted to the door of the bathroom.  It wasn’t late, it was only about 8 pm, but he had Ry had been heading to bed anyway.  Probably because that was the one place they felt the closest to each other.  They clung to each other in that bed.  And even if they didn’t sleep they both seemed to want to be there. Tonight when they headed up the stairs he told her he was just going to take a fast shower.  He used to be really good at getting showered fast!  Now…he was a lot slower.  Nothing was fast with one hand, nothing was fast with his fucked up mind.  He thought of Ryleigh.  She had been amazing.  She had been with him every minute since that night in the hospital.  He hadn’t talked to her much, small stuff like about his tattoo being cut off, and why he needed to see a dentist soon.   But he didn’t talk about why Scarlett tortured him that he had tried to piss her off.  That he refused her game.  That he fought hard for days.  He didn’t tell Ry just how often Scarlett had forced sex.  He had never told her about that at all.  But he guessed that she knew something about it because of the hospital, because of Vin and because of him.  He was the biggest clue to just how fucked up his time was while he was away.  As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t be with his wife, not the way a newly wedded husband should be!  Every time they tried to do more than kiss, or hold each other something happened and he just couldn’t.  He’d think of Scarlett, or he would remember how Scarlett had tricked him into believing she was Ryleigh!  That he had told that witch he loved her.  That he wanted her.  It made his skin crawl.  And when the thoughts came, he pushed Ry away.  He wanted his wife!  God did he want her!  In his head he could picture it.  And he did picture it.  There had been times in the last few days that he had tried to push things further himself.  In a moment with her close, thinking maybe?  But it never got far. 

She was waiting for him.  Probably sitting on the bed holding his cuffs, waiting to chain herself to him. They had done it every night since he had been home.  He loved it.  He needed it.  But deep down he knew they both needed something else this time.  It felt like it had been so long since he last made love to his wife.  Was his desire stronger than his fears?  He dropped the towel, and left the bathroom, never putting a thing on.  He walked into the bedroom; his eyes fell on his wife.  He was as naked as the night he asked her to marry him.  “Ry…take off your clothes.”   She never would have expected him to walk in naked, or for him to say anything like that.  He had avoided anything sexual these days.  And that sentence was more demanding than sexy.  But his delivery sold it.  His voice was low and his eyes looking at her in a way they hadn’t since the day he was taken away.  He closed the bedroom door and he walked over to her.  “…I’m not promising anything, but…” his lips curved a little.  His fingers slipped over her cheek as they made their way to her neck.  “I am going to kiss you and we’ll see what happens when there is nothing between us.”  His eyes danced over her face.  He hadn’t moved closer yet, just stared into her eyes.  “…I need this, Love…you need this…that’s why we’ve been cuffing to each other every night.  The connection, the intimacy.  We can do better.”  He pulled her gently toward him, his lips met hers.  He slowly kissed her, deepening it so carefully.  He took his time before he led her to lie down on the bed.  He moved to be on top of her.  Looking down at her.  “I love you Ryleigh….so much…”

https://youtu.be/jErtD0Gi-i4

"Baby, are you sure this is okay?"  Her question caused him to let out a huff from his nose.  If she only knew what he had been through.  This was nothing!  A few wires and tubes.  “I need my wife, I have to have you in my arms.” This moment did more for him than the doctors had been able to do.  This moment was reviving him.  "I'll never leave you again, Allen."  He smiled at her words, “…and I’ll never give you a reason!”  He could hold her forever right there in that tiny hospital bed.  He was a mess, and it would take a very long time for him to recover.  But this was helping him so much.  There was liberation in her touch!  Healing in her voice.  He needed more of it.  Just being near her.  "Can you call me that again, please? I've missed it."   He smiled a little, “…Love?  You missed that?”  he pressed more soft kisses to her lips, “I love you too.  More than I ever thought I could love anyone.”  She said she would stay in that bed with him and he smiled wide.  He never wanted her to be further than he could reach again!  Even the thought made him feel uneasy again. 

Allen wasn’t thinking of everything else right now.  Benji was the furthest thing from his mind.  He knew he had shot him, and he knew that would probably come back to get him.  Vince was wrong to think that they could avoid it and pretend they had never been there.  It would be figured out, Allen had little doubt.  But he wasn’t thinking about that.  It was far from his thoughts while he stared in the blue eyes that stared back into his.  “I can’t wait to go home with you.  I missed waking up with you, falling asleep with you…I missed breakfast with you..” his lips curved.  He had no idea just how hard it would be!  Going home would not be smooth sailing!  He would not snap back to the person he was.  He would have nightmares, he would be haunted by memories and guilt.  “Everything will be fine.  I’m sure.”  Everything would be far from fine, for a long long time.  “…Though I feel a little bad for Vinny out in the hall.”  His good hand moved and rubbed her back as he held her close to him.  Vince was fine though, guarding the door. 

"Ry...what happened to you?" That's not something she was prepared to answer. Not now. Probably not ever. She took in a breath before answering, "It doesn't matter, baby." And it didn't, not anymore. All that mattered to her was that she had her husband back. "Where were you?" That was another question she couldn't possibly answer. She wanted nothing more than to tell him all about Noah and have that fucker arrested...but that would only cause more trouble for Allen. "Please don't worry about that. I'm here now." When he kissed her back, it felt like a dream come true. She'd been craving those kisses since the night she walked out on him. 

Her eyes fell shut when he wiped her tears away. "You're here!" his voice only caused more tears. She should've been with him the entire time. Her eyes shot open when he pulled her into the bed with him. "Baby, are you sure this is okay?" She didn't care if it wasn't. All she wanted was to be as close to her man as she possibly could get. "Don't. It's okay....I'm going to be okay...I'm with you. Nothing else matters." Her face gently nuzzled against his hand when he touched her. "Nothing else matters!" she repeated. And it really didn't. It was just him and her now, the outside world no longer mattered. Reaching up, the pad of her thumb gently ran underneath one of his bruised eyes. "I'll never leave you again, Allen." It hurt her heart to know that her walking out on him lead to all of this. What hurt worse was that she actually believed Allen was cheating on her. She should've known better than that. Allen was a good man. He loved her more than anything and she knew he'd never do anything to hurt her. "You know me...I'm always okay...can't get rid of me easily." She let out a soft sigh and slipped her arm underneath him and pulled herself even closer. She only knew bits and pieces of what happened to him, but something was telling her that he wouldn't be okay this time. The sexual assault and other trauma he'd been through would leave a lasting effect on him. "Just stay with me. Don't leave again. Don't let anyone chase you out of this room. I need you, Love." Her heart skipped a beat when he called her Love. "Can you call me that again, please? I've missed it." Her voice was shaky, she was on the verge of more tears. Just being next to him again after the hell she'd been through with Noah was sending her into an emotional overload. Leaning in, she returned his kiss as gently as she possibly could. "I'm not leaving this bed, baby." Her lips found his again. "I love you so much. Oh god, baby, I love you." No matter how many times she said it, it didn't feel like enough. Words would never, ever, be able to express how much this man meant to her.

As she held on to him, Vinny's words began to replay in her head, "I'm more worried about him living to be honest." and she started to think about the video of the shooting. Her entire body tensed up. For all she knew, Benji could actually be in the same hospital as them right now....If he was still alive at this point. Who knew. What if he did live through it and remembered everything? He wouldn't hesitate in having Allen arrested for attempted murder. Just thinking about it caused her to pull her husband closer to her. She couldn't even talk to him about this now because she didn't want to add any unnecessary stress. Plus, she didn't want to take a chance of having someone overhear her. "Everything's going to be okay.." she muttered almost under her breath before she gently nuzzled her face against his neck.

“Ry…what happened to you?”  his brows pinched sympathetically as he searched her face.  She was just as bruised as he was. “Where were you?”  He returned that kiss when she pressed it to his lips.  It was her!  Really her.  Everything about her.  Her touch, her scent, her voice!  It made him feel even stupider for being fooled by Scarlett.  He didn’t give himself any excuses.  He should have seen through it!  No matter how messed up he was.  He questioned himself over it and he would continue to do so! 

Allen wiped her tears with his good hand.  His other hand hadn’t been dealt with much yet.  Just a fast wrap job.  “You’re here!” he choked on his words.  She was apologizing and he pulled her right into that bed with him, he didn’t give a shit about the wires and the IV line! Fuck it all!  He wanted her right next to him, he wanted his arms around her!  He carefully moved his shattered hand to steer around her.  He looked into her eyes.  “Don’t, it’s ok…I’m going to be okay…I’m with you.  Nothing else matters.”  He smiled at her as he touched his face.  “You know me…I’m always okay… can’t get rid of me easily.”  He had come very close to death, again!  His hold on her tightened.  “Just stay with me.  Don’t leave again.  Don’t let anyone chase you out of this room.  I need you, Love.”  He kissed her softly.  His soul felt a strong peaceful feeling now that he had her in his grasp again.  They were both a mess.  So much was wrong, and so much more would go wrong before it got better, but right now, he felt an ease sweep over him.  Reunited with his one and only love.

They didn’t waste time!  They had Allen in x-ray within a few minutes.  After that they checked him over, blood was drawn and an IV was put in.  He was dehydrated, but the IV would have that fixed fast!  The infected tattoo was found the moment they cut his clothes away.  A round of antibiotics was started. The bruises were all noted.  They cleaned him up.  The worst thing was his hand, and his toxicity levels!  The combinations of drugs in his body was dangerous.  How had he lived?!  Even the doctors were baffled.  Allen had even nearly given up at the end, but there he was, alive still.  He kept going.  He couldn’t leave her alone.  They were going to have a little girl. He had to get home.  He clung to life.  Like he always did. 

His eyes blinked open; he was confused looking around a room he couldn’t remember.  He was in a hospital gown.  He reached for the nurse call button and pushed it a couple times.  An older woman walked in dressed in scrubs and a smile.  “…I know I am in the hospital, but…I…where’s my wife?”  Wait, no, Vin said she was missing.  “…my brother?” He tried to sit up.

The nurse came over to help him, pushing the button so the bed moved to sit him up.  “I think there are some people in the waiting room waiting for you, I’ll go see, okay?”

“Thank you." 

“They’re bringing you up something from the cafeteria too.  What would you like, Allen?”  She smiled at him.

He shrugged. “Anything…just not a peanut butter and jelly sandwich…or pancakes...  nothing like that.”

“Alright, I’ll see what I can do for you, and I’ll get them to let your family in.  It’s good to see you’re doing so well.”   They hadn’t expected him to wake up so soon.  But of course he did!!  In his mind Ry was gone!  He hadn’t found her yet!  He needed to find her!  His mind wouldn’t rest, and his body was woken.