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About me: Who I'd like to meet:

•CALEB JESSE LAWRENCE• __________________________________________________ • HOME • MESSAGE • COMMENT • FRIEND "What do I know? Maybe this silence is dangerous I wanted to hide Now, I just want to find you And feel what's inside you I wanna come over" rules here. discord: zombietrafficlight#1374 --------------------------- BIO It's pretty easy to section Caleb's life into "before" and "after." The before was simple; he grew up fairly poor in a metro area with his parents and younger sister. He did what every old millennial did; played his Nintendo, went to the arcade, hung out at the mall, had a wealth of sketchy and creepy experiences while out with his friends on their bikes. He was always odd, but friendly enough, and though his grades were abysmal he gladly poured his soul into music, studying not only music theory but music mastering. This was his way of making cash in high school; he began to mix and master local musicians' demo tapes. His bedroom looked like a 90s nightmare full of screens and tapes and big goofy headphones. But no one complained, because he kept to himself and enjoyed himself. Word got out about his talent and soon Caleb realized he could do this work almost entirely online. He may have done a few illegal things such as faking his own age and credentials, opening a bank account under an alias, and working with people glad to look the other way. The 'after' happened when Caleb was 24; college was laughable for him, but his sister was in her first year of University. Caleb moved to the city for ease of access. He found it easier to blend in, and his social anxiety lessened in the dark, crowded clubs where no one really looked at him for too long. His parents were driving to his sister's campus when they were in an accident. That night a horrific storm drove them off the road and Caleb was the last to know. His parents left a house--Caleb's grandma's house--to his little sister, and not much at all to him. Shortly after the funeral, Caleb was involved in an accident of his own, though nobody can explain to him what happened. He simply woke up one day, to being wheeled out of a hospital in a gown. He was skinny, sore, and extremely jumpy. To his shock, his sister and friends informed him he'd had a "psychotic" episode and was placed in a mental institution for his own safety. Caleb had zero recollection of anything leading up to this, and worse, he had no memory of his time in the mental hospital. While he pressed everyone for details, begged everyone to see how strange such a situation was, no one had answers. And the medical facility as well as the police refused to give them as well. Thus began Caleb's spiral--from 'socially awkward' to 'dangerously paranoid and reclusive.' He moved back to his apartment and did his work with ease and finesse, but his mind became plagued with the loss of his own parents, and his memory. His disdain of medical intervention grew, as did his fear of the outside world. Caleb spent several more months holed up inside his home, losing his mind, aching for release, before his friends intervened and tried to pull him back toward the outside world. It kinda worked. No one could explain why, but Caleb had developed a strange sensitivity to the sun while he was in the hospital. His eyes burned at any overhead sunshine or bright fluorescents, and standing outside for too long caused pain to his skin, as well as a rash and panic attacks. Thus he made the very easy transition to 'out and about at night.' Local clubs welcomed his deejaying after his absence, and didn't ask questions about why he liked the booth dark. His sister and the small group of friends still in the city urged him to pick up a regular job several weeknights, so he works grave shift at the nearby gas station. It's solitary, quiet, and run-down enough that the lighting is poor. Caleb sits through shifts reading and meeting there with his friends, the local wanderers, and maaaaybe a few people who buy pills from him. PERSONALITY note: for some good insight, check out the writing sample here on my blog. Caleb was always a loner, and for that matter always alone if he had his way. Of course, growing up in the eighties and nineties he was pretty much forced into human socialization with human friends. Mostly thanks to his functional surrounding family members, he did well enough. Pizza parties and scary movies, and stealing friends' dads dirty magazines to see what all the fuss was about tits. He couldn't have had a more normal time, and it adapted him to socialization well enough. But in the dawn of the internet, Caleb's true creativity and potential was found. His musical talents were only matched by his enthusiasm for virtual friendship. In the early days of chat rooms and online communities he found plenty of homes. He also found plenty of customers for his musical services. Later, that would expand to less legal products, but by then he was wise to the ways of the black web and only took the occasional order. This darkness was overshadowed by again, the need for human interaction. He found plenty of that in the local nightclubs. Caleb moved out of the suburbs and into the city to play for the crowds, hating the interactions but loving the vibe. So once again he learned to blend...this time, for crazier groups. After his time in the healthcare facility, most of his will to blend has been shot, and he loathes every show he comes to. Not daring to risk any mind-bending substances, he just has to suffer his paranoia and nightmares with no relief. There are a few friends who sneak past the veil of his "barely acceptably polite" facade. Those friends dutifully check on him, bring him groceries, and sit by hoping their funloving friend will come back someday. What they don't realize is that most of it was an act. Caleb could easily disappear into the virtual if given the chance; the past two years have only made him want to disconnect from reality even more. But maybe he's on the verge of turning it around. Seeing more of the world than his bland 'normal' upbringing taught him. Seeing what lies in between the real and the virtual. Stats: NAME: Caleb Lawrence NICKNAMES: None ALIASES: Testpilot (DJ name) DATE OF BIRTH: January 4 PLACE OF BIRTH: Some forlorn Americana hospital CURRENT RESIDENCE: a ratty apartment in the city PREVIOUS RESIDENCE: a nice house out in the woodsy suburbs SPECIES: Human, but we'll see what changes PARENTS: Deceased SIBLINGS: Clara, younger sister. Lives in family home. Thinks her brother needs help, as do most other people who meet him. Works as a nurse, still in med school. All of the lost potential from her older brother fell right back to her and she's living up to it. Good for herrrrr. Other Family: None in contact SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Pansexual, somewhere on the ace spectrum PERSONALITY TRAITS: Kind, creative, paranoid, introverted and introspective. Independent, alert, eccentric, studious, a disembodied mind. High strung, can be intense (if he's had caffeine or nicotine) reclusive, rejecting of social attachments. Can get obsessed with ideas or fears. Runs off ADHD hyperfocus energy until he is delirious. Not great at getting good sleep and nutrition. ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿