06/21/2019 10:47 PM  Just Another Stupid Holiday | Drabble She would feel almost the same about Mother's Day as she did Father's Day; just another heart-wrenching day. The day was nothing special for her. Just another day to go to work and pretend everything is fine. Just another day to wait to go home and drink herself to sleep although she would probably cry about it all if she became too intoxicated. Camilla always had a smile on her face even though you could see the pain hiding behind her glistening eyes. She was strong; she wouldn't talk about it. But truth is, she needed to. She felt like a piece inside her was missing. An ache that would never go away. A hole in the void that nothing could fill it and no amount of cheap liquor, green smoke or white lines or even a fun night with a stranger would suffice. The pain was always still there the next day. Maybe if she pretended everything was okay, it eventually could be. The tears would beg to escape but she was too stubborn to allow herself the vulnerability of even accessing the most natural way to produce endorphins. "I am God," he would say as he threw everything off of the top of her dresser, "you can scream all you want, no one is going to help you," his words repeated in the back of her mind as he laid on top of her twisting her arm back until there was a loud snap. But he was right, no one came to help her. His breathing heavy and strong with the smell of cheap alcohol, which she would never touch from the memories it connected to. Just another stupid holiday but she would never forget the last attempt to let herself drift off forever, just a handful of pills and she would be happy. Just a few more lines and she would be set free of the pain. Just a few more shots to top it all off and the suffering would end. She wouldn't have to pretend she's happy anymore. She would have no more excuses as to why she can't let her bulletproof walls down. Just another stupid holiday she wouldn't have to worry about. 0 Comments  Report Post

06/17/2019 11:11 PM  COWBOY CASANOVA | Drabble The petite young woman stared in horror at the bodies on the ground, a man covered in a thick, sheet of a sticky, room temperature, dark-colored substance. Her heart pounding in her ears, her breath caught in her throat, right in that spot where it hurts to swallow. There were weights gluing her down to the place she stood, making it hard to move. A familiar figure stood up, his eyes narrowed, a smug look played on his once handsome features, "You're late." * You know how they say girls always go after guys that remind them of their fathers? It wasn't always that way for little Camilla... "He's just having a hard time right now." "It's my fault, I said something I shouldn't have." "No, he's never like this normally, I swear." These are all the things she would say to defend the guy she claimed she was in love with. But we all knew they really were just excuses. Her friends would just roll their eyes, fully aware she would not take their advice. "This isn't healthy," they would say. "I never liked him." Another one would chime in. A year of this would ruin her emotionally forever. She knew he was wrong for her. But she just would never admit it. Carrie Underwood would call it a Cowboy Casanova. The devil in disguise, a snake with blue eyes. She didn't see him coming. He was kind, patient, a gentleman. But that mask didn't last long. He was really obsessive, a cheat, jealous. And lastly, a murderer. Shocker, right? Would you believe he pretended to love her so much, he really just got off knowing how much he terrified her? He didn't love her, he pitied her. A vulnerable girl with a bad habit of never staying sober. He just wanted a little pet who did his chores and treated him like a God, She his slave. While he did whatever the hell he wanted. Truly, what it was, was this guy had a strong demeanor about him. Most would say that he's an a**hole, but that's what reminded her of her father. He was charming at first but he was a psycho. And so, she stayed. Thinking she loved him. Thinking she could change him. But really, he was candy coated misery. 0 Comments  Report Post

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