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ocean - 1979 june 24,
oceanSummer, 1979 june 24the sea-salt clung to curled strands of red hair, and the wind that carried it twisted its embraces around her body. the breeze cooled her skin, which burned at the touch from too much exposure to sun rays. her arms, nose, and cheeks tried to shield her, but alas, only managed to sear little brown kisses upon her: new freckles rising with every blink. she couldn’t remember the last time she traveled this far south to cornwall, but from a distance, she could see the ghosts of her younger self running through coves and jumping off cliffs. her mother used to say that the ocean’s breeze could clear not only your lungs; it could cleanse your soul of everything you wanted to leave behind with it.
think of it like a mother’s embrace-you seek us when you need us most and don’t even know it.
as young as she may have been she internalized that wisdom, and like a prophecy, her mother’s word came to fruition.
it was rare these days for the young woman to travel alone. yet there she was near the sea, reminiscing about her past life. her parents brought her and petunia here every summer for a week, wanting them to experience a different climate.
william and mary...it had only been six months since her parents died. her mother went first, and her dad not long after from his heartbreak. petunia became more insufferable than ever soon after and they barely spoke. lily thought of inviting her but feared she’d mock such childish whims; living outside of the present. the forever-realist seemed to bury her sorrow, and lily sought to find peace through memories.
lily wiggled her feet into the warm sand, closed her eyes and took long deep breaths. if she thought about the smells, the sounds of crashing waves and the images of her child-self, she could trick her brain into thinking it was happening at that moment. it felt like magic, beautiful and fragile. her mother had been right, her lungs felt clear--slowly unwinding the tight grip they had on her ribcage. the bright emerald eyes popped open and she slowly walked towards the sea, stopping only at the edge of the water to feel its temperature.
the licks from the waves felt cool but not uncomfortable and beckoned for her to inch forward just a bit more, and then a little more. soon she’d be shoulder-deep, allowing the ocean’s hugs to erase all that she wanted to leave behind. pain, she knew wouldn’t be as easy to erase and what sort of human chose to leave that behind entirely? no, she’d leave just enough to be able to breathe normally again. lily plunged into the water, letting it heal her more as she swam underneath the surface. she held her breath for as long as she could, letting all the thoughts leave her body one by one until she came up--gasping for air. baptized by the love from the ocean, whom she needed at that moment as much as she did her mother. the new lily felt replenished, any sense of darkness depleted and that was when she understood.
love could never truly leave someone; it lived through the breath of the wind, carried seamlessly all around you.
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