How the sun did stream in rays of gold between the eaves of the trees that day. Whilst the leaves twinkled like they were sundered by fairy dust. How I did smile smelling the long grass beneath me as I lay looking up and hoping for just one single simple glance. I wondered what it would be like to fly, to dance between the eaves and walk upon that golden light... And as I listened to the distant laughter of my brothers... my sister. my heart yearned, and yet I did not realise that I had fallen into a slumber... The sun had basked me in its warmth, a blanket upon a bed of the softest lush grass. Whilst my mind drifted off too far off places too beautiful to behold! I'd touched upon the bark of silver sprigged trees and laughed in tune to gurgled streams whilst tiny fish had nibbled upon my toes.. And treasure I had found hidden beneath the moss-covered rocks! A stone that whispered like the moon on a cloudless night.. It was magic, I'd told myself... A moonstone left just for me to find by the sun.
And when I woke, I'd thought I was alone. Rise... Oh, rise and hurry home... Had whispered the trees. But as I made to stand I saw it. For all but a fleeting moment, it wings like crystal jewels, as it hovered in the air before me. How my heart leapt, my breath catching in my throat, for I daren't breath, should I scare it away! So perfect, so small yet so profoundly beautiful to make me feel like I was ten feet tall! And as the sun dipped down to hide amidst the treeline it was gone.
And even for someone so small, my heart yearned. For nothing so beautiful did I believe I would ever see again! It was only then I noticed I still held tight to the gift from the sun. A moonstone so rare clutched within a small child's sweating palm.
The shadows were growing longer, darker as the light of day began to fade. No longer could I hear my brothers calls or my sister's sweet laughter and I began to feel so very alone. I did not mean to fall asleep or stray... I wanted nothing more than to be safe at home yet I did not know my way! Huddling against that's trees trunk, how hard I prayed! I prayed for the gods of my Father, for they were strong and noble warriors... I offered them my treasured moonstone... if they would just answer. And yet when the fallen leaves and twigs crunched softly within the bracken and fading shadows.. it was not them I saw!
With amber eyes that glowed like the flickering flames of a fire, the beast stepped out into the moonlight. Was I to die this night for Mother and Farther had always warned... beware the moon and the beasts that roam within its pale light! A first I'd stumbled.. and I dropped the stone. I thought I'd feel the mire of your gleaming fangs as shaking, I'd crouched down to pick it up. And yet as I glanced up, your face was next to mine. It was so close I could smell the forest in your shaggy coarse fur.
Slowly your head lowered your cold wet snout touched briefly against the stone in my hand. And at that moment I knew only love! And as you'd sat down beside me, carefully had I climbed upon your back. For I believed it was the fairy.. the gift from the sun who had sent you to me, I believe it was Mother's magic that would see me home safe!
I'd closed my eyes as the forest had speed past beneath your mighty paws and as the wind had swept gently across my face, I'd found out what it was like to fly...
I didn't want the ride to end, yet as you slowly lowered your body to the ground, I saw the flickering lights of the village twinkle between the trees. You did not wait for me to say goodbye, for my Fathers yells had broken the magic. And when I'd tried to tell him how you'd helped me... he'd beat me so hard. The whip had ripped through my tunic, tearing my tender skin asunder. It was worse than ever I imagined your claws would be. And as the frayed fabric soaked in the crimson blood of my back I'd held out the stone and begged for forgiveness.
It was the day I discovered that monsters were real! Yet the most dangerous ones... they did not hide within moonlit woods! Neither in cupboards or under the bed. They sat beside you as you ate. They watched you do your chores, dreaming of all the ways they could break you... that they could hurt you!
I was young then. So very young, And as I sit at my desk thinking of our life back then, I can not help but wonder how things could have been I was barely six when I first met you, and yet I knew not who you were... Childhood, is the gift, given to us all and though Mikael would say it was given to prepare us for the harshness of life thereafter... I beg to differ! Childhood is the only true time we are ever fully alive! It is the only true time we see the world for what it really is. We accept the fact that there is magic, we see the beauty in a beast and do question it. Instead, we yearn to return to those innocent moments... The moments when we are truly free.
For years after I'd find myself scouring the forest floor... looking for any sign of the moonstone, Mikael had taken from that night. And at night, I'd cry myself to sleep reminded of the love, I'd seen in your eyes... For I truly believed it would bring you back to me... I wanted so badly to run with you once again, to ride upon your back under the full moon as the scent of your fur comforted me. I just did not know why...
And yet raised by a monster, I vowed never to become one. I failed. I did not realise I had become everything I had once feared to be.
Forgive me, Father!
For there was no other choice I could see, to protect my daughter, and the last thing I ever want, is for her to turn into a monster like me...
