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Dear Diary #3 - Death
TW: Death. But not really much detail so shouldn’t be that triggering really.
Dear DiaryAn entry featuring mention of death
Dear Diary
I’m sorry I’ve not written in a while.
When Mama fell sick, I didn’t dare write about it, just in case I manifested something worse.
And then worse came anyway, and I lost the desire to do pretty much everything.
We said goodbye to her for the final time today. I thought I’d spend the day in tears, but my poor Papa is so broken that I’ve been more concerned about his grief than my own. I always wanted a love that ran as deeply as the love my Mama and Papa had for one another, but great love can lead to great loss and the thought of losing someone that I love, of suffering the way Papa is now.. I’m not sure I could be as strong as he has been.
Unsurprisingly, my grandfather didn’t show up. Papa sent word of our little goodbye, but he had written Mama off a long time ago, barely even caring that his only daughter was dead. I can’t imagine ever being so callous, to hate your only daughter just because she fell in love with someone you thought beneath her.
Grandmother, however, couldn’t keep herself away. I don’t blame her. Nothing in the world would keep me from saying goodbye to someone I loved. Once the funeral was over, she invited me to come and stay with her, wanting to give me the life of privilege that my mother had enjoyed, and while I wish for nothing more than a place that feels like a home, to stop travelling from village to village as Papa sells his wares - how could I ever leave him now?
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