My meeting with Bruce (Parody)

So there I was, minding my own business and going through my daily routine. All of the sudden I felt someone touching me from behind. Curiousity got the better of me, so I turned around seeing no more than psychoic Bruce. I asked him,"Hey! What are you doing?" and then proceeds to take me with a roundhouse kick. 

A few hours pass by and I wake up, finding myself in side a meatpack plant with pictures of sauages. So he force feed my a lot of drugs just enough to make me pass out. And then next thing that happened, I found myself waking up in the middle of the Sahara Desert and my anus is bleeding! Which caused me to have a operation, due to the fact that I had to crawl around on my stomach for a whole month. However, these nice people from Atlanta discovered me and flew me home to my hometown. What a wild ride it was, but I am safe now.