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03/29/2022 11:01 PM
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Mona
Hey, hi, hello - welcome to ‘When Life Hands You Lennon’s’, the podcast where we talk about anything and everythin, and aim to bring you an hour of laughs, good music, and dumb jokes. We have a very special guest this week, and I’m very excited to introduce her to y’all. She’s a local celebrity in the state of Malvada, is rumored to be Satan personified, and the owner of ‘Mona’s Ranch’, MS. DESDEMONA LOVELESS! Thank you for joining me today, Ms. Mona! How are you?
It's a little chilly in here, have you ever considered turning up the heat? I'm just not sure I can have this conversation under these really uncomfortable conditions. Other than that, I'm just peachy. Thank you for having me.
a brow raised from Lennon Chilly..? I don’t think I noticed but.. hm. I’m sorry about that. I can definitely turn the heat up. I know you have a pretty busy schedule back home in Malvada, so I do appreciate you finding some time to talk to me. How have things been over at the Ranch?
It was a hop, skip, and a jump away, really . . . no trouble at all. Business at the Ranch has been booming lately and we're in the process of getting ready for some major changes and renovations. My girls have been working very hard to meet our quota, business died down for a little while. I guess for a period of time, the men who visit the Ranch found comfort in their wives instead.
That’s amazing! Happy to hear that things have been looking up in that aspect. I’ve always wondered what went on behind closed doors . . . Unfortunately, you know how rumors spread faster than chlamydia in Malvada . . . The talk of the town seems to be that your ranch is involved in sex trafficking. Girls gone missing, and such. Any truth to that rumor?
I have heard of these unfortunate rumors and have been questioned multiple times by authorities on the matter, but I can safely say that none of my girls have come to the Ranch unwillingly nor are we involved in such heinous acts. I have plenty of beautiful women working for me, I have no need to seek them elsewhere. The trafficking issue, in my opinion, is far more suited for someone with a god complex than me.
Fair enough. I wouldn’t assume you’d be that evil in nature, anyway. You always seem to look out for those that do right by you, and I’m sure your girls are no different. It’s unfortunate that people run their mouths the way they do - lands them in bad places, you know? How long have you been in Malvada anyway?
Evil is relative anyway, isn't it? Everyone has a different definition of evil because they are always looking for someone else to blame. So, we take an example of a man who gets drunk every single night and decides to come home and beat his wife because his steak wasn't cooked just right, vs a mother who is struggling with postpartum depression that smothers her child because her symptoms were ignored. Which do we consider more evil than the other? The woman who murdered her child, right? Because we relate people who are not mentally sound to evil because we don't want to accept blame for our part in it, or lack thereof. But then you have the people who are playing god and put on a pedestal doing evil things just because they can and they're worshiped. So, who do youconsider more evil? A man with a god complex who wishes to control, or a sinner who lost their way? My whole life, darlin'. Born and bred. I wouldn't change it for the world, either. Malvada is a beautiful place to live.
That’s . . . Very fair. Personally? The man with the god complex. Though it’s incredibly sad that a woman can only silence the voices in her mind by smothering her child, and it certainly doesn’t make it right, she’s not inherently evil. Many people aren’t . . . But some are born into it. They eat, breathe, and sleep evil. It runs through their veins. I say f*** the patriarchy and let them rot. her shoulders shrug as she shifts in her seat, a sudden uncomfortable feeling surrounding her. It is very beautiful. Sometimes I miss it, but I don’t think I’ll ever stay away for too long. What are some of your fondest memories of living in Malvada?
And if you consider the people who eat, breathe, and sleep evil βΈ» they generally have one thing in common : it always has something to do with the church, or their upbringing because of the church. Frankly, I think the world has a skewed vision about who is responsible for their misfortunes. she smiles, then, noticing the uncomfortable shift in lennon's body language. You've heard all the rumors surrounding me, but not the one that tells you once you step foot on Malvada soil, you will never be free of it? It will always be there . . . lingering like the memory of a dead loved one, or a tapping on your shoulder that reminds you where your home is.
Oh, the list of my fondest memories is a bit too long. I suppose, like any mother, no fond memory outranks the birth of my sweet son, Malachi.
Lennon’s head twists over her shoulder as if she feels the tapping that Mona describes, shaking her head slightly at the sight of nobody Huh . . . weird. I suppose you’re right though, it doesn’t ever seem to leave. It pulls at me. Almost as if there’s an invisible shackle around my ankle, and it’s telling me times up. a small, hesitant laugh leaves her lips. I’ve considered moving back, but . . . There’s too many memories there. I don’t think I’ll enjoy it all the same.
What about your daughter? Wasn’t her birth important too?
Too many memories? That makes sense. It can't be easy living with the guilt of putting that needle in your ex-husband's arm. No big deal though, it seems you have made quite the transformation for yourself with the new one. My experience with Malvada is that it . . . makes the memories of our wrongdoings more bearable. Where you suffer here, you will thrive there.
Juliette has a mind of her own. You should know very well that the first born has a bigger place in your heart than those born after. Isn't that how it is with your daughter?
Her brows furrow as a result of Mona’s words, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about, Mona. I didn’t . . . I didn’t kill Stone. Or shove the needle in his arm. He chose that for himself. I would appreciate it if we changed the subject . . .
I love all of my children, but yes, I do have a stronger bond with my daughter. She’s been around longer, but that doesn’t mean my son has less of a hold on my heart.
Oh, have I offended you? I figured we were getting to know one another. I mean, all those nights of you both shooting each other up and snorting lines of coke didn't help, I'm sure. But, you're right, that's not my business.
Stone was around longer than Fergal, do you . . . you know, love him more, too?
My relationship with Stone was far from perfect, and I know that we both had a problem. We shared the same demons, drank from the same cup. But my relationship with him is far different than the relationship I have with my husband now. Far different. I will always love Stone, but that doesn’t mean I love him more than Fergal. I don’t think it’s fair to compare the two since one of them is dead.
a sly grin pulls her lips I guess the rumors of you being the personification of Satan are true, then? You sure seem to know an awful lot about me . . . Or do you just like keeping tabs on the residents of Malvada?
I have eyes and ears all over Malvada, darlin', it doesn't take a whole lot for word to travel. But you would like me to admit that, wouldn't you? It would give you a lot of good publicity to say that you've had an interview with Satan. Do you even believe in Satan? Or of a higher power? What would be my motivation here, if I were? How could you help me? Why would your soul be worth anything to me? What have you done that's so bad, that it would give me the satisfaction of torturing you for the rest eternity?
Fair, but I think we both can agree that there’s also been a fair share of people who have claimed to see someone that fits your description before moving to Malvada. Myself included . . . Though, to be honest I was probably high out of my mind when that happened so you can’t really take my word for anything. a shrug I don’t believe in a higher power, just as I personally don’t believe that you’re Satan . . . I think you’d have to believe in something greater than this life in order to believe in the devil. But , I do know that life has an odd way of twisting and turning, and somehow you’re a common denominator for many people in the state of Malvada. Always showing up at the ‘wrong place, right time’ . . . I’m sure you can understand why rumors began circulating.
My life was, and still is, far from perfect and I’ve had my share of sins. I’ve shed blood and laughed about it later on. I’ve thought about doing it again, too. Because it wasn’t fun the first time around. I’m not claiming my soul is worth your torturing because I killed my father in cold blood and felt no remorse afterwards. But I do know that I’ve sinned, like most people have, and I somehow found my way to Malvada because of it.
A blonde with a nice rack being seen in . . . what? Fantasies? That is something that should be speculated? Who doesn't wanna f*** a blonde with big tits, or have one save them from their inner turmoil at their worst moments? she pauses for a beat, contemplating Lennon's words. Truthfully, it sounds like you and the masses are just looking for someone to blame. Stone must have saw me too. Maybe this whole time I was the one who put that heroin in his veins. Rumors are just that . . . rumors. Stories that people make up to make their lives interesting or to excuse their poor behavior.
What do you think Malvada is, exactly? Aside from a state . . . like California, or Ohio. You think you were pulled there by some malevolent force? Did that malevolent force just pull that confession on a live podcast out of you, too?
I’m not looking to blame anyone for anything, Mona. I can take accountability for my actions. Not that it’s any of your business, but I killed him in self-defense. No punishments for something like that. Lesser of two evils, like you mentioned before. another shrug As for Stone.. Stone had his own vices so it wouldn’t surprise me if he did let you shove a needle in his arm. I’m sure he would’ve enjoyed it, in fact.
I don’t necessarily think anyone was pulled here, but Malvada isn’t on any maps. Mostly no one knows it exists, except for the people that have lived there. Don’t you think that’s a little peculiar? That an entire state just shows up out of nowhere? There’s gotta be some sort of magic involved here, or maybe we’re all f***ing crazy.
You're very defensive. Have I hit some sort of nerve? I thought we were merely having a conversation.
Do you believe in magic, then? The kind that could make an entire state appear out of thin air. Maybe what we're witnessing here is a decline in your psyche. Maybe this entire conversation that we're having right now isn't even real, maybe it's magic. Maybe you are going crazy.
her eyes narrow, not wanting to give the other woman any sort of satisfaction that she had irritated her. No, you haven’t. I believe in something. Magic, alternate realities, whatever you want to call it. Your gaslighting tactics won’t work on me, Mona. Perhaps your avoidance of answering the question tells me all I need to know, she shrugs. Anyway, all I’m saying is that you know more about Malvada and it’s creation than most people do, and I think it’s only fair of me to ask questions the people want to know.
Where did you learn that word? Gaslighting? You seem to think you’re so woke, that a gal like me could have a hand in the building of an entire state and it’s mystery. What about me has given you the impression that I know any more than you do?
I didn’t say you were responsible for it’s entire creation, but you’ve been around forever Mona. You’ve gotta know some of Malvada’s secrets.
Ah, the ageism in this conversation alone. massages her temples. I know that you feel his presence, I know that you’re uncomfortable. I know that I remind you of everything that feels like home to you. Your defensiveness tells me as much, so why don’t you just come home.
I don’t know what you’re tal-
the microphone cuts out, static crackling on the listeners end for 15 minutes before the podcast finally ends.
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