Synposis:Daria did more than shake her faith, she sullied her vengeful actions in her soul. What goes around comes around. If Daria craved her forgiveness so badly, Anais was going to make it hurt too, the two were destined to burn together.
"they teach you to love your hunger; to turn your stomach into an unfilled grave so you will always have enough space to bury things; nightmares, tears, love letters, broken hearts, friends, lovers..."
She had stopped listening to Daria's voicemails hours ago, texts went unread, phone calls hushed, unanswered by the sorrow in her weeping heart. It hurt so badly. Her belly clenched for a caress of starved comfort, anything to ease the heat licking her diaphragm ablaze. She had no more tears left to cry. Mascara had smudged her cheeks, creased into her ruby cheeks. She didn't even have the energy to shed her ash-stained clothes and wash away the wickedness she had witnessed. Tremblings hands had clung around her curves. With no one to comfort Anais, she only had herself, the worst possible person to have.
She had watched helplessly as the church burned to the ground as if the devil herself had crawled inside and breathed the hot spark of wretchedness unbound. She was rooted in despair to her core in the courtyard while everyone ran in fear of rapture come to fruition. The black plumes darkened the sky and rained ashes were the once gorgeous paradise lied in its glory because of her.
A rapture she had welcomed into god's haven. A devil she had shared her faith with. She had paid good money to sneak her in, gullible to the serpent she had aided in secret. It was all her fault, her burden cross to carry.
Betrayed by her sharp claws of heartbreak. Daria's pain was now Anais' pain. She had freed herself and Anais inherited her chains of heartbreak. How was that fair?
The flames hastened in their destruction, bringing the church to its knees in a matter of minutes. She watched the flowers, gorgeous yellow and orange gazania's from Spain; her abuelita's favorite flowers from her cherished garden. The ones she would on occasion ask permission to pick and take some home to feel her a touch of childhood nostalgia envelope her. The fire had slithered up to them and smothered them lifeless, shriveled up just like Anais' heart in that instant.
Daria knew Church was her place of sanctuary. Where she was welcomed with compassionate warmth as a runaway teenager. For the first time in her life, she didn't have to bend her knee to change who she was. While they had similar upbringings when it came to Catholicism, they two had respected each other's preferences and emotions to their ties. She knew Anais had no one outside of the girls at work to rely on when she was home alone. When her father's grotesque memories plagued her with insomnia. Her family had cut her off at his disgusted behest, she wasn't a child of so she was no child of his.
Of course, it wasn't enough she witnessed such a horrific act, she had to be the one to clean up Daria's mess. The other woman cloaked in black had fled without even checking if Anais had made it out alive.
She internally panicked about when the sector, the two were both at fault with a noose of guilt snaked around their necks. He had approached her during a vigil held, no lives were lost, but the people were shaken with no answers. He wanted more money to keep his truth hushed.
Anais felt like such a coward and a cheat standing next to the weeping and spooked crowd brokering a deal with this man. He bowed his head and closed his eyes as if in prayer, Anais followed suit once she knew no one had paid them much attention. She would barely murmur her words of prayer. They rose up her esophagus as if refusing to be complicit in her deceit. "Would be a shame if everyone found if it's partly your fault, all the good you've done? Washed away, just like that." He snapped his fingers menacingly between them, to emphasize how fast how her fall from grace would be.
She didn't like threats, but she bit her tongue and swallowed her pride, not Daria, but herself, "we would both go down, actually" her hazel leveled him with contempt, he stumbled to a stop by her brazen tongue. Anais was scared, but she did all of her best work under intense pressure. This would simply be another lie to tack onto her resume of duplicity. "and I would make sure of it, God wouldn't even let get close to those pearly gates." She wouldn't let this old man or anyone dismantle all of her hard work and connections. "I'll send you the cash once you show me you destroyed all of the evidence," she paused and shot him a shrewd smirk, "just like I know many in high places, I know plenty in even lower places. So keep your holy mouth before we test that theory too soon."
All her notifications were ignored the weeks after the distressing events. She played cat and mouse, botching Daria's sad attempts to corner her and sell her pitiful apology. All communications ceased, Daria had to wad through her personal assistant to get a word in about her storyline from then on. Anais had nothing but contempt for Daria, she couldn't stand the sight of her, of how she went on as if nothing had happened. Like she hadn't shattered a piece of Anais and stepped on it in disgust without a second glance.
A bottle of Don Julio, her old college buddy clutched shakily, unopened in her palm. An entires year's worth of sobriety was about to go down the drain. She wouldn't be able to look her sponsor in the eyes anymore. She couldn't bear to be spotted in her community, she felt their chary stares and gossiping whispers of the town ghosted to her back. But in reality, it was in her head. And she had no one but blame but herself, for being so trustworthy, so naive to her ex-flings sadness.
- - - - -
When Daria was walking home, she sent a bunch of text messages to Anais on her way back. She didn’t think that the fire would catch that quickly. For some reason, she thought it would be tiny and put itself out or something, but that wasn’t the case. The last time she looked back at it before disappearing into the woods behind the church was an orange ball of fire and the sirens of firetrucks in the distance.
It was really then that she remembered Anais said that she would stay and make sure no one interrupted Daria’s thought process. She’d thought that she left to do whatever she had to do and Daria would catch her own ride home. She was lucky that she didn’t see her face as her church was being burnt to a crisp. All due to the hands of the woman that she trusted to be in there in the first place. Did she feel bad? Of course, she did. She knew that place was one of Anais’s places that she went to for comfort and sanctuary, but she still did what she did. It was like the Devil took over her. She thought it was the Holy Spirit talking to her in there but it was probably Lucifer himself whispering in her ear and she couldn’t tell the damn difference. This is why she didn’t go to church.
It made sense why she was getting the silent treatment. Even a week later when Daria was in her office on Monday Night Raw. She heard a knock on the door and opened it up, hoping that she’d see Anais’s face, even if it was as fiery as the church she set ablaze, but it was the woman’s assistant; relaying storyline strategies back and forth. Looks like she wouldn’t be talking to Anais for a while. She sighed and closed her office door.
Yeah, Daria was upset, but she knew she couldn’t be as upset as Anais was. Turning around and seeing the church that you left your friend in on fire? Did she think that Daria was inside it? That when she stepped in the Devil really said “f*** you” and torched the place? Or did she know deep down that Daria was capable of doing something like this? She wouldn’t know because she wasn’t answering any of her calls or texts. She knew she wasn’t blocked because every time she sent one it said ‘delivered’ at the bottom. Voicemails of her pleading her case weren’t working either. She was in big trouble and she didn’t know how she was going to get herself out of this mess that she put herself in.
She hadn’t even thought about the repercussions of her actions. She burnt down a church.. It had to be on the news. There had to be police looking for people. The priest that was there would have remembered both of them there, he let them in that morning. And he definitely got a good look at Daria because he never saw her there before and she was dressed in all black and dripping like the sin he knew she was. But days… weeks… had passed and she didn’t have police at her door or show up at work to cuff her, which must have meant that Anais took care of it even though they weren’t on speaking terms.
Okay, so she wouldn’t answer her calls or texts, so she’d just have to show up at her house. Daria wasn’t the type to show up unwanted and unannounced, but she at least had to thank her for not allowing her to get tossed in jail. After taking a few shots of tequila for liquid courage, she left her house and made her way to Anais’s. She made a small stop at the boutique because maybe a bundle of flowers would at least get her to open the door. So she got hot pink ones that reminded her of Anais’s hair and she got back into her car and continued to drive until she was parked right next to the woman’s car. Good, she was home… but that also meant that she was ignoring her as well. Surprise, surprise.
She got out of the car with the flowers and locked it up and shoved her keys in the back pocket of her ripped denim jeans, her iPhone in the opposite pocket. She had a lump in her throat as she walked up to the door and she used her finger to press the doorbell. She didn’t expect anything, of course. So she leaned against the door frame, her black leather jacket sticking against the wooden frame. She told herself she’d ring it one more time and then leave the roses on the welcome mat if she didn’t answer. She pushed the button again and waited. Nothing. No one opened the door. But she saw a shadow, some type of movement behind the frosted glass on the side of the window that meant Anais was possibly on the other side either debating on opening the door or waiting for her to get her ass off her property.
Daria really didn’t feel like getting chased by a German Shepherd, so she talked through the glass of the door. “I know you won’t answer my calls and my texts… or talk to me at work. But I want you to know that I’m sorry. I also know that doesn’t mean sh*t to you because I did something to you that I don’t know if I can fix. But I want to try. I also want to thank you for getting us off the hook. I haven’t been cuffed yet..” she chuckled with her innuendo sense of humor, “...so you had to have made some calls and did some heavy lifting on your end to make sure that I didn’t get in trouble. I at least wanted to show up in person and thank you for that.” She stood waiting for Anais to possibly open the door. If she did, she would be grateful to see even the meanest look on her face, which still meant she cared about her in the slightest way. If she didn't, then she'd leave the roses on the mat and she'd walk away and leave.
- - - - -
"But how can i sleep with you in my head? write a quick poem and go to bed."
Speak of the devil with the biggest set of balls in the world, she caught a glimpse of Daria through her security cameras. Daria dared to have a bouquet in hand, it triggered Anais back to the ones she had withered to death in the fire. How f***ing dare she. All of the misery she had tried to bury in her heart sprung forth and she snapped. Enough. Anais erratically rushed to open the door in a flurry and before Daria could speak, a resounding smack was heard loud and clear.
She ignored the hot sting of her palm as she stared down at the other woman with glassy eyes, “You could’ve sent a thank you card if that’s all you have to say.” A disbelieving, near-hysterical laugh escaped her lips, Daria still didn’t get and maybe she never would.
- - - - -
thank you to daria for majorly helping not only write but also put this together.
