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malnourished.
*tw: anorexia // this piece is one that describes lennon's past battles with an eating disorder, please be cautious if this can be triggering to you.
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malnourished skin clings to fragile bones,
desperately trying to make a home out of
the carcass of a once loved body; it begs
for soft touches, peppered kisses, and for
just an ounce of admiration - a big change
compared to the constant negative self-talk,
broken promises, and lack of warmth it
receives on a daily basis.
i never thought my body would turn out
this way; broken and battered from years
of internal abuse. i spent so many nights
wishing i could fall in love with myself, wishing
i cared enough to change how i view the
reflection that stares back in the mirror.
i was always too this, too that. not enough this, not
enough that; my choice in words inflicted
more wounds than anyone else ever could.
i look at the way my skin dips and curves
over deserted valleys, and for once, i feel
defeated.
i want to love myself; i want to look at the
woman before me and admire her strength.
i want to admire her perseverance, and her
determination to be better to herself. to love
the way her body hugs to mountains of fat
rather than the bones that threaten to break
skin.
i don’t know when that day will come,
but i’ll be damned if i allow this mistreatment
to go on any longer.
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