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For My Love
For My Love I look up to the night's sky. Every time I do, I am reminded of you. The stars remind me of the sparkle that resides in your eyes. The moon, your presence that illuminates even my darkest moments. Even though you are not close to me, I can feel you near whenever I look up at the heaven's starlit display. I feel your embrace, warming me during the coolest parts of the night. I feel the connection we share, the love I feel for you that has filled my heart. I feel these the strongest in these moments, taking in the heavenly display. Though thoughts of you dance through my head during all hours of the day, it is during these times, when I can see heavens in their infinite beauty, that is my favorite.
Sometimes, I will pick a star and stare at it with a fervent gaze, taking in it's sight for as long as I can. I do this because I know you see this star too. You may not be looking at it at the same moment I am, but I know you see it in your night's sky. Because of this, I feel as though we are stargazing together, dreaming of what may and what may not be. Dreaming of infinite moments that share only us in common with one another.
Fantasies of a future that involves us plays through my head, like the greatest stories ever told. Flashes of matrimony, children, and an elderly life fly through my mind. I see our old wrinkled faces, smiling at each other, the way we smile for one another now. Our little lips curled in fashion that is only meant for one another. No one else holds these secret smiles that decorate our pruned, elderly features. My loving smile that is meant for only you, and yours for me.
I can't help but feel this way, as I continue to view upon the night's celestial display. It's natural artistry pale in comparison to you in my eyes. While physical beauty may fade, the loveliness of your soul outshines any other luminary that dots the nocturnal welkin above. It is brighter than any I have ever encountered. You truly are unique, someone incredibly special.
Your compassion, your wit, your charm, every part that makes up your being have pulled me in like a magnet. I had never felt such an intense pull from anyone that I have encountered. You are one of a kind, a gem among stones. Your magnanimous spirit chases away the companion of loneliness that I have carried with me for longer than I could ever remember. You bring to me a bliss I had only dreamt about, a happiness I thought I was not allowed to have.
The moment you entered my life's stage, though I hadn't realized it at the time, you had made a home in my heart. This was a place that had remained empty, shadowed and unkept. You instantly brightened it's darkened halls, bringing life to a long forgotten place. The mere idea of you swept away the cobwebs and mended the cracks of previous heartaches. The longer you occupied it, the more this home grew, and continues to grow. Before I knew what happened, you had filled me with emotions and joy I had only read about or seen in stories. A fire was built where only ashes existed, and this fire has consumed my being and filled me with a love I always wanted.
Over my lifetime I have built up walls around my heart. Each disappointment, each broken promise, each fear, each heartache, a brick in this wall. This barrier towered around my heart, so high up that even I could not look over it's surface. Content with an emptiness I was never meant to have, I never expected I would find you, an unsuspecting warrior who burst through my battlements as if they were nothing. You tore through it all, straight to my heart, and gave it meaning once more.
I have never felt so intensely about anyone else before. Though there have been some that have caught my eye in the past, they have only become mere shadows compared to how I feel for you. I had once thought before that I had loved one with all my heart. Little did I know that my heart was holding out, waiting and holding on to more love than I have given before. It was waiting for you to enter my life, for me to find you. It knew that you were out there in the world and that you were deserving of it's fullness. It was waiting for the one perfect moment, the moment I would find you.
I never meant to love you, as you had never meant to become one of the most important characters in my story. You've sunk into my very pits of my soul and lifted the part of me I never thought I would ever see again. I love you. I realize now I always have. In you I have discovered a kindred soul, one that I can share my dreams with, create a world of our own. You are a piece of a puzzle that has stumped me for my whole life. This love scares me nearly as much as it brings me joy.
It scares me, because I don't know where our path will lead. I do not know if we will end up together in this story, or if our path ends in separate books. The thought of us not being able to smile back at one another, holding our eldered hands watching the decedents of our love grow and produce lives of their own makes my soul ache more than it did when I didn't know you were in the world. I fear that I will never get the chance to hold you in my arms, caressing your sweet face, as you slip into a slumber after I had sung you to sleep. I fear the changes you've made inside me.
You've forever affected me. You've changed my path, my life's goals, my everything. This change also scares me. It is a great unknown, an unknown we will hopefully explore together. I will hold your hand if you will hold mine in return as we discover what is to come. I want want you want. I need what you need. I will never leave your side should you choose to stand with me. I will devote my whole being to your happiness, because that is the only thing that will ever bring me joy from here until our final moments. I do not know if I could fully ever return to how I lived my life before. I do not want to.
I love you. I always have and I always will. You are my soulmate, my one and only, my heart. I have loved you from the very first moment and I will love you until the very last, and beyond. From this life until the next, you will always hold my heart. It belongs to you and only you, from now until forever more.
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