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02/19/2018 06:34 PM  Fences Mended Steve massaged his fingers into the lump that was forming on the back of his head as the other hand stuffed his sweaty clothes into a duffel bag. He'd hoped a cool shower after training would help with the swelling and pain, but he knew better. The goose egg on his noggin was merely an occupational hazard from teaching men and women how to beat each other into submission. Now, obviously he didn't actually want his students harming their fellow trainees, so, punches were pulled, various body locks and holds weren't applied with such damaging pressure, and they always offered one another a hand to get up off of the mat. However, inevitably, there would be miscalculations and accidents. Today, such an accident occurred while Steve was working with one of his newer trainees. The young man executed a double leg take down without taking into account that they were nearing the edge of the fight zone. It wasn't all of his fault, though, as Steve typically did just fine at tucking his chin to avoid having his head hit the ground, but this time it just didn't work out that way. Not only did he neglect to tuck his chin, his head smacked audibly into the concrete beyond the edge of the mat. The impact had knocked him out for only a couple of seconds, leaving him glassy-eyed with a killer headache. "Mr. Blackman, I'm really sorry. You sure you're cool? I mean, I can drive you to the hospital," the young man said as he slung his gym bag over his shoulder in preparation to leave. "Don't worry about it. Nothing some ibuprofen and an ice pack can't fix. Get outta here. I'll see you tomorrow," Steve replied. About 15 minutes later, after all of the students had finally cleared out, Steve went about the facility disinfecting the equipment and putting things back in their place. Usually he locked the doors before getting started on setting up for the next training session, however, it slipped his mind this time. All he wanted to do was clean up and get out of there for a few hours before having to return that evening. 9 Comments  Report Post Back to Posts The Shining Star.   Jun 11th 2018 - 4:49 PM Comment | Message | Block "I liked it." Eddie said and it sounded, immediately, even as the words left his lips, that he regretted ever saying anything at all. That was the reason. What made the fight different, what made it so hurtful, what made it so hard to reach out every time he tried, was the fact that he found joy in Steve's reaction and he couldn't shake the feeling that his joy was perverse. Once the initial anger passed, once the initial humiliation settled, the second-generation grappler was left with the sense of being happy that the older man went as far as he did. Eddie was happy that Steve called his judgement and indeed his intelligence into question. Eddie was happy that Steve yelled. Eddie was happy, even, that it went so far as to become physical. All of these were signs that Steve cared; cared in a different kind of way, cared in a way that no other man, in his position, ever had before. It was at this point, it was when he reached this precise conclusion, that whatever impulse he had to pick up the phone and apologized dithered. It had nothing to do with Shane McMahon. If it did, then it mattered only as further evidence of Blackman's uniqueness. He was willing to go against a former friend, Vince's son even, because Eddie meant that much to me. He liked the yelling. He liked the insults and the bruises too. Months later, sitting in front of Steve, his lips parting with nothing and closing once more, the Puerto Rican wasn't sure what to do with what he felt except to be truthful about it. He tried to deny it. He tried to downplay it. He tried to forget it. He tried to hate it. He tried to hate Steve. It didn't matter. Nothing worried. "No one has ever really... overstepped with me and I liked that you did. That was really difficult for me to accept. That's why I stayed away." Months later, and that's what he ultimately decided on: the quickest version, lacking in specifics, which would still count as truth. He rose to his feet with a little nod, thinking to walk away and call this a success. His tone was even. He was matter of fact. He managed to get through it all without sounding like too much of a fool. Or maybe he did. Maybe that was for Steve to decide, on his own, if he was okay with all of the implications which were just let loose. All Eddie could do, from here, was promise that he was perfectly okay with everything. As was their habit, he made this evident with something that sounded like a joke though it wasn't. "Feel free to kick my ass anytime." He said. 'I wanna see you again. I've missed you.' He meant. STEVE BLACKMAN "The Lethal Weapon"   Jun 6th 2018 - 12:42 PM Comment | Message | Block "Except that I wonder..." Eddie had started to say.  Wonder what? Steve was curious, but he could also tell that while now was as good a time as any to talk, it also wasn't necessary. If this meeting was the beginning of a reboot to their friendship, perhaps they'd circle back around and finish the conversation at some point in the future. As Eddie tossed the proverbial ball back into his court, Steve found no desire to play.  "Why do I think what happened? Us not talking anymore?" With a sigh, Blackman got to his feet, the shift causing the knot on the back of his head to throb momentarily. "Probably because I forgot that you're a grown man who doesn't need my guidance, or blessing, and can do anything you want. I thought you were going to get yourself hurt or in trouble, but it's not my job to protect you. Not to the extent that I was trying to, anyway. I don't think you're an idiot, and while we all make mistakes, I don't view you as a screw up. I treated you that way, though. Made you feel that my opinion of you, and your decision making skills, was low. I overstepped." Blackman kept his eyes locked with Eddie as he spoke, "Speaking for myself on why I think it happened, that's all I really have to say. Maybe you have a different perspective on why things went the way they did." Even though the two men had been walking for about 15-20 minutes, the ice still had yet to be broken, and it still felt awkward as hell. "So, what would you like to happen now? Are we just clearing the air and going our separate ways again? Are we going to try and pick up where we left off during better times? Do you want to throw on a pair of gloves and get in the ring with me?"  The last question wasn't a joke. They had to do something else aside from sitting in that stuffy office baring their feelings.  The Shining Star.   May 17th 2018 - 5:54 PM Comment | Message | Block "Why do you think it happened?" A question which would have been easier to answer if they were known for their fits of rage — get them angry enough, provoke them enough, and they'll come to blows in the blink of an eye. For fun, and perhaps as a way to explain things to himself, he imagined them relying on their fists for matters big and small. He imagined Steve reaching over and smacking him across the face when Eddie failed to live up to his end of a Superbowl bet. He saw himself shoving the future Hall of Famer when one too many mumbles remarks were made about his taste in men. He thought up a scenario where, as a response to a particularly nasty botch in the ring, Steve shoved him up against a wall and left him bruising. It didn't work. As a means of amusement, it grew depressing. As a way of explaining their big blowout, it didn't fit. It wasn't them. Except for that one time, that one instance, where it was. Eddie liked to think they would have stopped without doing serious damage to each other, and they did stop, but at the time it felt like it could have gone either way. "I don't wanna talk about any of it." The younger man admitted, answering the elder's questions without realizing he'd done so. "Except that I wonder..." It wasn't a perfect friendship. Maybe there had always been something there. Perhaps there was always an imbalance. It could have been likely, at any instance, that they would rely on their fighting instincts to prove some kind of superiority. But why then? And why did it happen because of a man that Eddie felt very little for. There were theories. He'd rather not share them. At least not yet. So... "What you got?" Eddie threw it back, like a ball he was tired of playing with. It might as well have been. He'd been asking these questions of himself even as they were trading and blocking punches. It'd only intensified since. STEVE BLACKMAN "The Lethal Weapon"   May 3rd 2018 - 10:14 AM Comment | Message | Block Steve could've very well left things there and moved on with a, "so, how how's life been treatin' ya?", but he'd asked for no bullshit, and he wasn't about to be a hypocrite and start it up himself. No, Steve would keep it as real as he'd expected Eddie to. It was only fair. "Well... I'm glad you're here," he finally replied, "I don't like the way we left things either. There were a lot of letters I wrote to you, but never sent, and times where I started to call you, but... I don't know. I guess I didn't really want a confirmation that we weren't going to speak again, in the event that hung up on me or ignored my letters. On top of that, I suppose I didn't want to be soft. Not that apologizing makes someone soft, it's just... you know me, Eddie. I don't do well with that stuff," Steve slouched in his chair as he spoke, the movement slow and subtle, and his eyes were downcast through much of what he said. His posture was that of someone who felt uncomfortable or timid, neither of which were ordinary for Blackman. Regardless, he continued to talk, "I am sorry, though. For being an asshole to you. I really---" he cut himself off and looked up at Eddie, "Did you want to talk about what happened or leave it alone?" he asked, realizing that he was about to bring up their final moments together before the blowup that lead to their lengthy separation. Maybe Eddie just wanted to come back, make peace, and move on without touching on any past events.  The Shining Star.   Mar 26th 2018 - 4:42 PM Comment | Message | Block It was strange to think of words as punishment. Unless the words were cruel, unless the words were specifically uttered with the intention of harming the person on the receiving end of them, then it could be an awkward fit. That was especially true when the words appeared, ostensibly, to be quite kind. "I thought about never seeing you again," Eddie admitted. "And I couldn't stand the idea of it." That was what Eddie said. That was his idea of punishing not only his friend but punishing himself. Making himself just as uneasy, just as uncertain, as Steve might have been when he heard the crack in the Puerto Rican's inflection. It wasn't a conscious choice. It wasn't manufactured. His tone wobbled noticeably audible as the sentence came to an end, and standing across from the wrestling legend in that barren office, emotion etched on his face, he was perversely pleased. He was happy that there was no bullshit and he was happy to go beyond that; displaying pretty much a little too much honesty. It was easy to show affection in good times. That had been the bulk of what occurred between the two grapplers. Title victories, surprised backstage visits, birthdays, Superbowl Sundays. Hugs in that moments, things said in that moment, could easily be dismissed as an aftereffect of joy. Not that it wasn't honest, not that it wasn't utterly sincere, but the moment itself took some significance away from a huge or a three word declaration. It was expected, as a dear friend, that you'd tell someone you loved them after a long-awaited career milestone. Right? No one was gonna dwell on it. No one was gonna linger on what it meant. Sadness operated differently, albeit it offered essentially the same function. A window where a sentiment could be expressed, a sentiment that would be impossible in most circumstances, and it'd be forgotten. It was a cheat. Eddie had known it. He'd always known it. He just hadn't know the extent of it until he was in that empty office, taking steps to sit down, to look up at Steve, and to punish both of them with more truth. "I couldn't stop thinking about how we left things. I tried. And... I just couldn't." The Latino laughed then, noticing how he was unable to maintain his gaze for very long. Which was odd. He could bear his heart to Carlito, no problem. He'd done it with his lovers, no shame and no reason to believe he should be ashamed. With Steve, speaking kindly and expressing his longing felt like an act which had been demanded by a cruel and unusual judge. They'd always needed an occasion, exceptionally happy or notably sad. Without that, they'd probably have many moments like the one they were having now: silence hanging over their heads as they attempted feebly to listen to each other's words.  STEVE BLACKMAN "The Lethal Weapon"   Mar 21st 2018 - 12:52 PM Comment | Message | Block Steve stared at Eddie for a moment, mulling over what he'd said. Was he actually giving him permission to hit him? Steve wasn't sure if his confusion was from the knock to the head he'd taken earlier, or if he just wasn't one for picking up on Eddie's rhetoric. All he knew is that his blood pressure was going up, which was making his head feel like it was going to burst. "What are you talking about? I'm not gonna hit you," Blackman said as he headed for his office in the back left corner of the gym, "Come on. I need to sit down." Blackman had hit Colon before, several years ago when both lost their tempers and a dispute had gotten unnecessarily physical. He couldn't rightly recall what it was regarding, or who got in the most licks as they wrestled in the seating area of a hotel suite, but he did remember that the scuffle culminated in Colon being thrown backwards into a glass table. That sobered Blackman up rather quickly, as he recognized that he could've seriously injured his friend, and that was certainly not what he wanted, no matter if Colon had put his hands on him first. He didn't look behind him to see if Eddie was following him. Once he got to the office, he grabbed the chair that was behind his desk and rolled it around so that he would be on the same side as Eddie. The office was cramped and dimly lit, formerly a small storage room that he'd emptied and thrown an old metal desk, a couple of chairs, a filing cabinet, a safe, and a computer into. There were no pictures, awards or any other personal touches made to the space. Yet, it reflected his character well. "I don't want any bullshit," Steve stated as shut the door behind Colon. "Whatever we have to settle, to understand, we need to keep it straight," he sat in his chair, but didn't mind if Colon opted to remain standing, "I wasn't sure if I'd ever see you again," his tone was a little different with that remark. It had lost it's firmness, and his words trailed off at the end, "so I'm not sure what to tell you right now. I guess I'll just ask why you're here. And no bullshit." The Shining Star.   Mar 8th 2018 - 4:43 PM Comment | Message | Block Eddie would start. Any minute now. He wished that his hangup had been anger. He wished that the reason he hadn't spoken to Steve was centered on Shane. That would have been simple. It would have been easy enough, he imagined, to call up the former WWE star and maybe open with a joke and work his way from there. Eddie would have also settled for this being simply an issue of ego but that didn't hold sway for too long. The Puerto Rican lost count of how many times he swore off certain people, too proud to go back, only to allow a certain level of contact. Anger subsided. Egos could be placated. Neither were particularly useful in explaining why he stood right where he was, hands in his pockets, saying essentially nothing at all.  Even when he was faced with a stranger's enthusiasm, even when he encountered a situation he dealt with exclusively through canned responses, the Smackdown superstar appeared to limit himself to a few nods and a couple mumbles. Eddie hadn't exploited the opening offered to him though. He hadn't grabbed onto Kyle as one would to a safety raft; talking his ear off, talking about nothing, doing his utmost to avoid speaking to the person that he was here to see. The Bayamon native had come this far, he knew, and he wasn't going to chicken now. Still when he spoke, it wasn't from a position of strength. It might've seemed that way based on the bluntness of the words and how he turned to face Steve and how he wore a little smirk. It might have seemed, comparing the two grapples, that Eddie was far more certain. "I'll let you take the first shot." He offered, then elaborating with the confidence of someone who had practiced a speech but hadn't agonized over it. "Anywhere you want. It's a freebie." The truth was he spoke because the sound of his voice, ostensibly honest and upfront, served to quiet the questions in his head. The truth was he spoke because it meant Steve would reply and then maybe, though it seemed increasingly unlikely, they could move on without discussing what happened. The truth was that his certainty, fleeting and all, evaporated as soon as he heard Steve's voice. The truth was he tried to forget Steve, tried to move on from him, and was here only because forgetting didn't seem to be a viable option. For two friends that never bullshitted, Eddie was bullshitting now. The little smirk, that twist of thick and the words preceding, it was an evasion. But the last time they saw each other, the last time they were truthful, it nearly shattered the bond they'd built. And now, more truth could finish the job. Just for a different reason.  STEVE BLACKMAN "The Lethal Weapon"   Feb 26th 2018 - 5:32 PM Comment | Message | Block Although Steve had been startled, he didn't flinch when his mindless cleaning was interrupted. While the voice was unexpected, it wasn't unfamiliar. He'd know it anywhere. Why was he here? Why after so long? Blackman couldn't really blame the lengthy passage of time between when they last spoke to each other and now on Eddie alone. Blackman knew how to use a phone, write a letter, and he was still more than welcome by the company to drop by the backstage area of shows. He'd almost done all of those things. Almost. However, when the numbers never finished being dialed, when the papers that expressed his thoughts were balled up and tossed into the trash, never to be sent, and the shows were always in inconvenient places at decidedly inopportune times, almost didn't count. How could Eddie have ever known? Steve had plenty of excuses and reasons for not following through with his attempts at reaching out, the main one being, �Eddie won't listen. He never listens.�, which wasn't exactly true. In the moments during, and after, their final disagreement, you couldn't have told Steve otherwise. Eddie was here now, though. For what? Did he want to give Steve another piece of his mind? Did he want to apologize for something? Was he dying? Did he need a favor? All of those thoughts rushed through Steve's aching head in under a second, and before he'd even responded to what Eddie said. �No,� he finally replied, setting the cleaning rag down on the bench in front of him and turning around, �I didn't.� Eddie looked a little thinner since he'd seen him last, his hair was shorter, he was darker, too. Or maybe none of this was true. The one thing that really was different about Eddie, since the last time Steve had seen him, was that he wasn't wearing a hurt, angry expression on his cherubic face. Clearing his throat, Blackman took a step towards Eddie, and dried his hands off on his dark blue sweatpants. �It's bee---� Steve was cut off when the door to his facility opened again. His eyes moved past Eddie to see one of his trainees rush inside and head towards the locker room. �Glad you're still here. I forgot my phone charger. Sorry. I'll be out in a second,� the young man disappeared for a few seconds and then hurried back out. Steve didn't want to start talking just yet, and he'd damn sure need to lock the door before another cast of characters walked in. �Got it,� he waived the neglected charger in the air, �Sorry again. Oh, hey, I'm Kyle,� the over-caffeinated guy quickly walked towards Colon. �Just go. What the Hell is this kid doing?� Steve asked himself internally, �This is Eddie, my friend,� is what actually came out of his mouth, �We'll see you later, Kyle,� he had no problem with letting him know that he was intruding. Steve had never been known for his politeness. �Yeah yeah, cool, sorry. See you tomorrow,� Kyle turned on a dime and took off. Finally clear, Blackman swept across the school and locked the door. Now, it was back to the awkwardness of trying to decide if he was going to speak for or let Eddie do it. The Shining Star.   Feb 24th 2018 - 3:29 PM Comment | Message | Block Eddie wondered, with a kind of detached amusement, how many friendships were ended over a hypothetical. He never slept with Shane. Since Vince's son made his return to the company, they didn't even share a kiss. But they could have. For a while, for almost half a year, they spent a lot of time together alone and things were said and the mildest of touches were received. It could have led somewhere, the theory went, and that would be something that the Puerto Rican would regret just as soon as he allowed it to happen. He wasn't young anymore. He wasn't new. He was a veteran and, if he allowed himself to give in to an old whim, then it was proof that he'd learned nothing in almost a decade. It would have been fair except for that one crucial detail: nothing happened. The whole theory, the entire basis for condemnation, seemed rooted in the unspoken but heavily implied idea that Eddie was stupid. Weak in the heart and quick to fall to his knees. None of that was said, of course. After a while, none of it needed to be said. "Who the fuck do you think you are telling me what to do, eh?!" "Why are you hanging around him if you don't want anything to happen?!" The funny thing was, Eddie didn't want anything to happen. Shane got weirdly sweaty since they last saw each other and, more to the point, he got... happy. He was happy with his wife. He was happy being a dad. The flirtations, when they did occur, were halfhearted. An acknowledgement of a shared past rather than an admission of a desired future. But that didn't stop the arguing. Steve kept talking like Eddie would fuck up and Eddie was too proud to admit that, in fact, he was hung up on someone far more age appropriate these days. Ergo, a friendship ended over a hypothetical. A friendship ended because both sides were too damn stubborn to call a true. The friendship had been over for almost a year and a half when the younger grappler tried to revive it. Eddie stood behind Steve for a long moment; watching him, observing him, wondering if his presence would be acknowledged. It wasn't the first instance where the Bayamon native attempted to reach out. Unlike texts and lengthy e-mails though, Eddie figured his voice would be harder to ignore. "You know I've been standing here for a minute now, yeah?" Back to Posts