The Journal: Keep pushing. 04/11/14
Category: Blogging
Current mood:  nostalgic

My life has changed over the past few years. I could go on and on about how but all I can say is...

It's changed for a  lot of reasons. Living as an Avenger took a lot out of me...it made me realize what I had lost along the way with being a cape. That's if you can really call me that when all I carry is a bow, arrow, and an attitude. Being a cape in active duty with the Avengers is a lot like being a citizen of a different country. The people that live around you are the same people you work out with, train with, and go to war with. Whether you like it or not.

And then your off to fight for people that you want to protect and help for what feels like forever and that is plenty of time to lose touch with the folks at home. When you return to the city, It's like a different planet where everything is dusty, dirty, and you don't fit in. You live every day anticipating something to go BOOM. Sometimes it does....sometimes that guy that was offering you a drink months earlier or making you crack up about something stupid is gone in an instant...and whenever you come home or see your friend's faces on your computer screen;  it seems so wild that you had a life before you came home to begin with. You hear a noise over the line like a door opening and closing in the background that you've heard your entire life and it feels surreal now, like that life you lived before happened to someone else.

And then one day you come home, pull into your driveway and it's raining.

Then you feel like something is off...

A second later the sky is blue and everything around you is green....except it isn't.

You want to be like they used to be  down to the depth of your soul...but it isn't. It never can be again.....sometimes you just have to accept the change that happened in yourself and keep pushing toward whatever fate life holds in store for you.