Well, I really wish the particles in RP worked for all of us so we succeed in RL as well. In the last years have noticed that all this wars are to gain something or someone likes, so is better to give up and let it be. Anyways one can always win a happy friend back.

It has damaged my RL, so I'm in silence most of the time trying to be Ignore from good and bad, because there is something I have that turns everyone evil, not all, once in a while a slayer with a bag of gold comes along the rainbow. The laws of Knowledge or wisdom, solutions to their given problems as usual.

And Im striving with enduring pain, smiling back at the suicidal ideas whom never returned, because is fine.

Is fine my bicycle gets stabbed by a neighboured law class psycho who wan't to f*** me and is psychotic.

Is fine because I have a second bicycle storage for a husband who never returns, so I can use that. Its fine the construction guy whom I made them tea, brake my compost bin and throw it away, after 5 months of crashing eggs and placing layers of coffee from work.

Luckily I made the Landlord aware of the corrupted Agency and he changed them, is being 2 months without internet, he was stealing to the Landlord and could notice down. The new agency will place new people and remove the low class away. But is fine, I have love for no one any ways, there is no loyal love. They all lie, place my plants with rocks on top of my beautiful cushy chairs.

The Art Therapist does not like me as well, she is zealous, trying to be modest and knowing less is not my strong, so she has diabolically turned against me stating I was dangerous to not trust because of being unstable for so many years. But she can't change my 4 pages of psychiatric report, where I can see where her zealously comes. The best writing I ever had, but she might deem my the possibility to work there, for the Government.  I have to show more sadness and manipulate feelings of compassion and benevolence, inspired them in a good way to help me and feel gracious about it, but i'm too proud for that. Is funny how much amounts of cruelty I have digested and I need this pain to work it out, bring it to court, get fat money and rights to be valued. 

But, I need power, a source of power that is returning. Rented part of my space to work less with torturous degree of waiting for this job. 

It's nice to have healthy food, and my family away who like a Ghost would brake walls from another nation to brake my inspiration. Let me be with my dead father, I'm a writer after him, a composer. 

  Mean while, whenever the wifi returns from a new provider and I get this guest out with my new job, because the one I have is to sue them for the greatness of recycling in order to stop human putrefaction around me. I intensity desire to be genius, in a war of artificial intelligence and the rules of rp so my work saves parts of humanity, if there is some intelligence left to garden from.

  Is not easy, my children and the children of my children to come, the love that is empty and I stop waiting, accepted my aloness, it gives me power to say no till I'm older and unwanted, non desired, any ways is only a body. No one loves me and its a revelation to be alone and have time to love without hurting, this time I'm the one who hurts back with the court cases, the pain resides away from compassion and understanding. It has to move, it has to be removed by moving it.

  Is impossible to role play without internet, proper space of my own and unlimited freedom to create, there are stakes at work. This misery shall end, I'm grateful to ride my bike and park it next street this this filthy people are removed, I like my gardens as my British neighbours, they shake their hand and talk to me, smile hoping I make the new laws for recycling and  gardening (against filthy immigrants) I'm an Immigrant too as all my ancestors and descendant, but Ignorance is something we leave behind and it seems that people who haven't moved in more than 2.000 years are pretty damn back. Is painful, but the British love me and listen to me, because they are too nice to place it as I do for them. 

  My stabbed bike is now in the Attic, my beautiful view and trust, trust is fine, maybe I shall work stronger but it was too much. Is so important to realised that you haven't being loved, that this world had no love for me, to stop has fulfil me, I'm enlightened away from emotion. Humbly cooking, shopping, accepting my real me without internet. 

  That despite being a beautiful woman I have chosen to give myself to God and silence, desire stoped, the apples can kill you when you have no understanding, it takes you back home. Everything shakes inside, the pulsation, the speed, the state of alarm, the agitation of survival, the violence at work for who wants to be Queen "B". Became silent at work, without drugs, could see the fractions of my future counting from this very present. Right here and now, were everything was taken away. I will never forget the fake words and lies, the damage, that triggered me to be the new me. To have surface death, the beauty that never dies.

 

 And someone who is always there as an observer, memories goes across, memories of the future. My son with that impression in the face "And you went through all that for this? To make me this?" And is not the country or the land I made for him, its love. So much love that can't be seen by first impression. I guess there is that second look and realisation, were my son can look up towards true love. And may God help me to stop this nightmares of my daughter screaming in the dark wanting to be saved. May God give me strength for my work has been threatened by evil, so I look through the evil's eye ready compose order and values in return, sinners must pay and reason must work on automatic. Im programmed to dance, cook nice meals, decorate my home, care for my children and make love in all forms around me, in me. What's is part of me, even from the distance and timing. 

  I can't role play, I don't need negative particles in SL right now, nor in the way is being played. I'm vulnerable exposing myself towards in RL with recycling laws and is dangerous to put my energy when it shall be focus, strongly protected for all I need is this space, space to regenerate, this silence where the composition comes down together. Then it takes one day to hit it, strike, it thinks deep for an impact write the letter and go to the source with it. It always helps, the more the more afraid of the energy around it.

  Learn to be a role player and use if for good in real life, the rules exist and one day you will read them from your palm and actions.

  Be nice to your fellow role players, we need good energy and more role players who  make a better world and truly care. We don't need more craving selfish consumers who write as disposals of entertainment. We need thinkers not hungry people looking for votes and likes, we need so much, aggression too and violence, is not a joke and when is time to joke, many jokes as well.

  I have to make it and with positive vibrations to bring me goods, Is all I need to pass this one to the next, seriously. Im no one, but Im a person too and it matters. If you read this letter, you might think as a role player as well, or as someone who feels connected for a reason.

  Much love, peace and power

  Idune