Title: Jealousy 

Spring 1977

Title: Jealous
Spring 1977

Red mane swung to the side, cheek exposed, and face turned to a curious sight. Heart fluttered loudly against chest, and she found that she was digging her hands into her Hogwarts’ robes; concealing the desperate grip to the fine loose threads of her garment. James Potter was leaning against the wall of the Gryffindor Common Room, a dazzling smile upon face directed at a 5th year girl with jet-black hair that matched his perfectly.

They looked like a poster couple for brunettes, and Lily somehow couldn’t remove her gaze from them. A lump was forming in her throat and an odd feeling was bubbling in the pit of her stomach. Is this what being kicked in the heart resulted in? She wasn’t sure, but she chewed the inside of her cheek, holding back the urge to call out his name, to selfishly distract him from the beautiful fifth year girl with ice-blue piercing eyes. 

It didn’t matter…they were just friends. The broom ride from earlier that week was nothing but a friendly time; he was only doing what he’d do with any other person at this school…right? She couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t true, but yet there he stood, offering a different girl the smile she had self-proclaimed was only directed towards her. Stupid, selfish thoughts. Marlene approached her, obviously noticing the exchange and nudged Lily’s arm. “I think you should go say something. ‘Sides she’s got nothing on you.”

“You’re kidding right? That girl is gorgeous…besides we’re just friends. He doesn’t want anything more than that.” It felt wrong to say, but maybe if she repeated it enough times it’d come true. They would be too complicated…they were too different to work. 

“You’ve must have fallen off James’ broom if you think that’s true. He’s been mad for you since first year…even he’s not that thick.” Marlene said shaking her head at Lily’s irrational thinking. Still, she watched as the girl tilted her head in a loud laugh, James’ shoulders shaking from amusement. Did he ever laugh that way with her? He seemed so carefree…what in the bloody hell was so funny? 

The familiar scent of her amortentia crept into her memory, the closeness of his body on the broom—the protective warmth he provided—and the breath against her neck as he whispered into her ear; surely those were all things she had somehow conjured up in her mind. 

Lily forced herself to turn her head, though for a second, she thought she saw a pair of hazel eyes flicker towards her. Red mane swung back across her face, concealing the dark-haired pair. The common room was packed with students, celebrating the recent Gryffindor win in the quidditch match. She sported a red sweater, like the majority of the students in the common room.

Making her way through the thick of the crowd, she hid herself from his sight; away from the source of her discomfort; she wasn’t used to the burning of her chest and the bubbling of her stomach—was this jealousy? Absolutely not. Still, she had to get away from them, from him…no one could see that Lily Evans was even remotely bothered by the scene playing in the corner away from the rest of the crowd.

Title: Jealousy (drabble reply to -asphodel;)

Spring 1977

Quidditch Player High. It was a phenomenon that occurred in the immediate aftermath of every single Quidditch victory. A condition that was exacerbated by James' general flirty ways and notoriety as a chaser who'd played particularly well in this match against Ravenclaw. So it wasn't exactly unexpected that Sara or Stella... something like that, turned up to him after the game with a coy smile on  her face. Fingers fluttered in a flirtatious wave as she approached,  "Potter! Couldn't take my eyes off you all game, you played so well and definitely earned that win for Gryffindor!"

Taking to lean casually up against the wall, he flourished under such remarks,"Always glad to have a fan!" Her stance came to mirror his, against the wall, her gracious words continuing on and on, "You were like a hungry shark, making goal after goal, stealing all that glory from the other chasers..." The allusion made him laugh loudly, "Oh, you think so? I surely hope I'm not in trouble with them, huh?" 

The compliment had him grin as he bowed his head, even though he couldn't quite place her name for the life of him. "So, tell me, am I signing an autograph for you? Or just gracing you with a victor's presence?" As she became the recipient of his attention, Sara, or Stella, or whatever her name was, seemed to thrive on the notion, each of her actions becoming more exaggerated. 

Laughter was louder. Eyelashes fluttered twice as often and she preened more dramatically for him. "Just an autograph? What about if we went somewhere more... private?" She seemed to plead, clear blue eyes bright with a desperation that he might have found endearing in another time and place. If he wasn't wholly captivated by Lily Evans. 

Out the corner of his left eye, he caught sight of it; a cascade of scarlet as her head turned, very obviously having seen the casual demeanor and flirtation he was currently taking part in. Sara was continuing to talk, but he was no longer absorbing anything she was saying. "Charming offer, Stella..." He managed to mutter absently in response, though his focus had shifted completely. The look on Lily's face was  unlike anything he'd ever seen before and he certainly couldn't define it, but he knew he never wanted to see that look in her eyes again. The across the room interaction lasted only a few seconds, as her head snapped away almost as soon as he'd looked over. 

It ignited an uncomfortable sensation in the pit of his stomach that felt something like guilt and betrayal all swirled into one. Even though he couldn't place any act of inherent unfaithfulness, since he was merely engaged in small talk with a (good-looking) Gryffindor girl. Was he even capable of infidelity to the redhead? Were they technically anything more than friends? Yes. No. Oh hell. What were they?! Without permission, his heart was suddenly pounding, hoping that they were were something, anything, everything more than friends. 

Although, she was rather flirty and clearly looking for more, he'd never even considered indulging it. Not on the heels of the object of his affection finally giving him the time of day to take her out on a ... excursion. A date out on his broom. Could he even call it a date? Merlin, he bloody hoped so. 

"....My name is Sara." The tone of her voice had shifted completely, and it managed to catch his attention again, hazel eyes flickering consistently to the left, trying to take inventory of where Lily was. Blinking a couple times in quick succession, he looked back at the brunette, the awkwardness of the conversation rising, "What?" "My name is Sara, not Stella." "Ah....Right. Maybe another time then...?" Sara's mouth was left slightly agape, not realizing what the catalyst for  the seemingly random shift in his behavior was. 

Without preamble or further discussion, he pushed off the wall, gaze quickly sweeping over the room. He'd only looked away for a second! Where did she go? Those red locks were impossible to miss, and yet he couldn't spot her. Bolting across the room, his expression having lost the previous look of joy and contentment, instead concern was fully on display as his head whipped back and forth. 

Eyebrows were furrowed together with intense focus and he could hardly diagnose the anxiety that was hammering in his head. All he knew was that he wanted to see her again, to erase whatever that look at been. Another couple minutes passed with the tall, dark-haired teenager poking his head into each and every corner of the common room, until he finally saw her. 

With a sweater that matched her hair, he thought her to be even more beautiful than usual, especially with the knowledge of her open support of his playing in the earlier match. Though, as he neared her, he could see that the stance was all wrong and devoid of her usual confidence, which caused his steps to slow, "Lily...? Hey, I was lookin' for you." 

Coming to stand in front of her, he looked around, noting the deliberate isolation from the rest of their jovial house, "Any particular reason you chose this cozy corner to hang out in? And more importantly, mind if I join you?" Nervously, he pushed a hand through his hair, unintentionally messing it further. It was unfair how easily her presence stole his fortitude, his bravado; how she made him want to be better. Was she trying to avoid him? One night out on his broom enough for her? Was he too much for her? Head was swimming with doubt and a hundred questions, because being near her was the only part of his life that made sense and he wasn't about to give up. 

Not yet. Not ever. 

Title: Jealousy (drabble reply to Stag. / -asphodel;)

Spring 1977

It had taken a lot out of her to approach him. Older, he held himself with a confidence she had always admired. Perhaps it was the butterbeer, or maybe it was the truly excellent flying of the day. Regardless, something had propelled feet forward, urging her towards him. Her smile was less luminous than usual, natural timidness momentarily overcoming the pep with which she usually carried herself. 

"Potter! Couldn't take my eyes off you!" Had she actually spoken those words? They were bolder and more suggestive than she thought herself capable. Fingers straightened and twirled a lock of her hair, again and again, needing something to do, to keep nervous energy at bay. 

 "I really liked that drop you did at the end. You were so close to the ground I thought you might crash!"  She hadn't intended to come off as doting, merely to catch his attention. But it seemed she had failed.  "Always glad to have a fan!"  Although disappointment did not linger as he leaned against the wall, seeming to direct his attention fully towards her. Following his lean, she mimicked his stance, seeking the stability of the wall, but the flow of embarrassing words continued. 

 Why was her voice so loud? She followed it up with a few giggles, head tilted to the side, the attention nearly as intoxicating as the drinks she had had earlier, they filled her with a daringness she had never before possessed.

 Lapel caught between thumb and index, drawing him closer. "What about if we went somewhere more... private?" A half-whisper; the thunderous voices around them making it impossible to keep even those words to themselves.  Suggestion burst forth, it had bubbled within for too long and when it emerged it lacked any of the subtlety she'd hoped to inject.

 And she thought she had him, smile bright, hazels shining; she believed she might have a chance with this boy who ran through her mind so often he had become a fixture, an ideal of sorts, and the descent from that perch was a steep one.

 Hazels shine when he looks, but not at her; a brightness that dulls every glimmer he offered, making her seem irrelevant, eradicating her entirely. He calls her Stella, as if even her name is throw-away, and her corrections are shrugged off, because wisps of bronze were a siren's song, and no matter how big her smile, how bubbly her response, she could not compete; she wasn't even a contender.   

Title: Jealousy Response to ‘whatshername’ and stag.

Spring 1977

Holy mother of Merlin, the ability to control herself had dissipated into nothingness. A calm, rather cold and distant smile, perked itself upon the redhead’s features as she met James Potter’s gaze. 

“Looking for me? Really, Potter there’s no need.” Her voice was even, revealing no ounce of emotion, and yet didn’t that speak for itself? Refusing to admit she was jealous only made her more upset with herself. Was it such a big deal that she felt something? To Lily it did; it confirmed that everyone who stood in the common room was right—it’d be only a matter of time before she’d wake up to what was obvious to everyone: James Potter wasn’t all  that bad. 

Oh, she could bloody scream! There he stood, nervously tousling his hair about; it had grown in the last few weeks, a little curl falls over his forehead. His questions were sincere, and yet how the hell was she supposed to go about answering them? 

Lily went to the corner to avoid him…her; the perfect brunette pairing. It wasn’t really because of her (yet her looks didn’t help), but really it was about herself. Lily had been considering all avenues since their broom date, questioning if it could even work…they were so different. 

Emerald orbs glanced back at the brunette whom appeared to be glum all of a sudden, and quickly looked back to James, biting her lip nervously.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. Really, thank you for the offer, but I should get going. I have a potions essay I need to finish and the common room is feeling a bit more crowded than I can handle.” 

Her teeth grazed her bottom lip again, and her hands fidgeted with the hem of her sweater. 

“You should continue to enjoy the festivities. Great game, James. I hope you and Sarah have a good time. She’s very pretty…don’t want to keep that look on her face too long.” Lily didn’t wait for him to reply, instead she stood from her seat, offered him yet another smile and gave a short nod before passing by him without another word. 

Lily avoided the looks of confusion from her friends, and instead quickly made her way out of the common room portrait hole, tossing her backpack ahead of her. The Fat Lady woke up from her own snores just in time to catch a glimpse of the redhead zooming by into an entrance to a corridor; a silent spot away from them all.